Black Swan Song
by caelusstar
Summary: 'I've been racing the clock, and I've run out of steam. I am ready for my final symphony. Oh, my body is weak, but my soul is still strong. I am ready to rest in your arms.' Based off the song 'Black Swan Song' by Athlete - Chloe has cancer, and it's up to Beca to look after the sick redhead.
1. Eyes, Eyes, Eyes

**A/N: Heyyyy so this is my first fanfiction, and it's going to be kind of deep and probably quite long so hope you're into that kind of fanfic. I'll try upload weekly, if not more frequently but I can't promise anything especially since my school loves giving everyone loads of tests to revise for.**

 **I have no experience with the subject of this fanfiction, so please correct me if I get anything wrong and forgive me if I make any mistakes regarding cancer or anything else in the fic.**

 **The whole fanfiction is kind of based off 'Black Swan Song' by Athlete, and I'm gonna try dedicate a song to each chapter as well so you can listen to it whilst you read, but who knows, let's see how it goes.**

 **This chapter's song is 'Eyes Eyes Eyes' by Tom Rosenthal. It's a bit different to kind of regular songs, but I think love Tom Rosenthal and I think this song just fits nicely with this chapter.**

 **Other than that, I hope you enjoy!**

Beca sat in silence, staring at Chloe's sleeping, peaceful face. This was Chloe's first chemotherapy session, and considering how much she'd been dreading this visit to the hospital, Beca couldn't help but feel a little underwhelmed by the whole ordeal.

Beca had imagined Chloe being hooked up to some great machine that pumped bright chemicals into her body in some kind of bright, padded room. She had not imagined this.

Chloe was simply asleep in a chair, with a blanket wrapped round her shoulders. She had an IV in her hand that slowly dripped translucent chemicals into her bloodstream and a cardboard bowl that sat at her feet in case she felt sick. The room was quietly noisy; other patients sat tired or asleep in chairs around them and nurses pottered about, offering water or extra blankets to patients with enough energy to respond.

No-one spoke to Beca, or even really acknowledged her, so she was happy to just hold Chloe's warm hand and listen to music.

As the second hour of chemo passed, Beca found her mind drifting back to the day Chloe had told her about the cancer. It had been a Thursday evening; the only day of the week Fat Amy wasn't home. Chloe had sat Beca down at their little kitchen table and told her slowly and gently that she had leukaemia, that they had caught it early, but that it was developing quickly and she was going to have to quit her job and focus entirely on her treatment. The only thing that had stopped Beca from breaking down in that moment was the quiet hope that shone in Chloe's crystal eyes. Chloe believed she had a chance, Chloe believed that this wasn't the end, and so Beca had faith too.

Chloe's first chemotherapy session had been a week later, and so here Beca was, sat beside Chloe, playing absent mindedly with the redhead's fingers.

"Your hands are cold," Chloe muttered tiredly, her eyes still closed.

"I thought you were asleep." Beca responded, not letting go of Chloe's hand despite the blush that grew on her cheeks when Chloe pointed out that they were holding hands.

"I was, but your music is so loud I can here it through your headphones." She laughed weakly.

Beca scoffed, but turned her music down to a normal volume and pulled her head phones out of her ears. "How do you feel?" Beca asked gently.

"Okay," Chloe mumbled, "Just tired. How long do I have left?"

"About an hour, I think." Said Beca, looking up at a clock on the wall. "Go back to sleep if you want." she added, noticing Chloe struggling to keep her eyes open.

"No, you look bored out your mind, you need some entertainment." Chloe joked, her eyes sparkling despite the chemicals being pumped into her body.

"What kind of entertainment are you offering?" Beca said, trying to stay in as good a spirit as Chloe. It honestly baffled Beca how nothing seemed to put a dampener on Chloe's mood. Even cancer couldn't muffle Chloe's puppy dog optimism and happiness.

"We could always sing"

That was another thing that confused Beca: Chloe's complete lack of self-awareness. Only Chloe would suggest they sing in the middle of chemotherapy session, surrounded by other cancer sessions and well-to-do doctors that didn't look they would enjoy a bought of spontaneous singing from one of their patients. It only made her love Chloe even more.

"Maybe not right now, Chlo." Beca suggested, struggling to keep the smile off her face.

"Okay, well I brought cards, they're in my bag, could you grab them?"

Beca frowned, leaning over Chloe and grabbing her backpack from the floor. She rummaged around, pulling out tissues and books and a tuning fork before finally pulling out a battered pack of cards,

"When have you ever played cards?" Beca asked, shuffling the cards after returning the contents of Chloe's backpack and placing it back by Chloe's feet.

"Never, but I assumed it was something Beca Mitchell did a lot of in her spare time, and so I stole your pack of cards from the flat and brought them here, so you can teach me." Chloe explained.

"I thought these looked familiar." Beca muttered when she noticed the little moustache Amy had drawn on the King of Hearts.

Chloe giggled, and Beca looked up, relishing the sound of Chloe's carefree laugh. Beca smiled at Chloe, and found her gaze caught on Chloe's eyes. Beca had always thought Chloe had the most beautiful eyes of any person she had ever seen. They were the brightest of blues, always full of life and joy. Chloe's crystal eyes never failed to give Beca butterflies, especially when they gazed right back at Beca.

Chloe momentarily forgot about the annoying pinch the IV caused in her hand, she forgot about the relentless fatigue that threatened to consume her where she sat, she forgot about her cancer because when Beca's dark eyes stared into hers, all she could think about was those eyes. She'd noticed Beca looking at her eyes a few times recently, but Chloe had never allowed herself the pleasure of looking back into Beca's. She felt drawn to the brunette in a way she'd never felt before. Beca's eyes were so full of different emotions that Chloe didn't know what to say or do as the pair just gazed into each other's eyes.

They snapped out of their daze when some man across from them sneezed into a tissue. Beca coughed and shook her head, not sure why she had suddenly become so captivated by Chloe's eyes.

"Alright, let's play cards then." Beca smiled.

They played snap for the remaining hour, Chloe grasping the rules very quickly but losing every time to Beca's lightening quick reflexes and years of experience.

"To be fair, you aren't tied to an IV." Chloe sulked as Beca won for the 12th time in a row and a nurse came over to the two of them.

"Alright Chloe, that's it for your first session. I understand that the doctor has already told you about the side effects of the chemo, and how you should look after yourself, so it's just up to me to tell you that your next session is same time next week. See you then" the nurse smiled, taking out the IV and gently taking the blanket from around Chloe's shoulders. Chloe and Beca had to go and sign a few papers at the reception, but were soon able to leave with a few leaflets on how to take care of cancer patients at home.

Beca and Chloe walked slowly to the car, as the nurse had instructed. Chloe was already starting to feel sick, and she barely had the energy to keep her eyes open, let alone walk. When they made it to the car, Beca helped Chloe into her seat and walked round the bonnet to the driver's seat. They drove in comfortable silence for a while before Chloe turned the radio on and began singing softly along to whatever song came on. Beca decided in that moment that she would never get tired of hearing Chloe's voice, and she could only hope that Chloe beat the odds that were stacked against her, and survived this cancer, so that Beca would never have to deal with the absence of Chloe's beautiful voice. Beca also realised in that moment that, just maybe, the love she felt towards her friend went slightly deeper than their platonic relationship might allow…

 **'Oh my eyes are on your eyes again tonight**

 **I'm happy to be near you'**


	2. I Want You In My Dreams

**A/N: Alrighty, so here's the second chapter, hope it's okay :)**

 **This chapter's song is 'I Want You In My Dreams' by Tom Rosenthal. I promise the songs won't all be by him, but I just love this song so much, and I thought it reflected this chapter really well, especially the end.**

When they got to their flat, Chloe went straight to bed having barely been able to keep her eyes open on the car journey home. With Chloe in bed and Amy not home, Beca found herself with nothing to do. After a minute of standing uselessly in the middle of the kitchen, she decided she would make tea for herself, Chloe and Amy.

Chloe and Beca had spoken about whether or not to their big, blonde flatmate about Chloe's illness and eventually came to the conclusion that there would be no way of hiding it, and that it would be a lot simpler if Amy knew. This also lead to them coming to the conclusion that they would tell all the Bellas, so that if Chloe needed extra support, it would be there; and it would mean they wouldn't have to hide anything from the group. Beca suggested it would be simplest to tell everyone together, but Chloe was adamant that she was going to tell Aubrey first. Chloe had told Beca that she had invited Aubrey over for the weekend, and that she was going to tell her then.

Beca put some soup on the hob for tea and began tidying the house in preparation for Aubrey's visit. She didn't want the blond thinking they were living in some kind of hell-hole, which is how the flat looked at that moment. It was difficult sharing a flat with two other people, especially when one of those people is Fat Amy, who feels most comfortable when everything she owns is scattered messily across the entire flat. Beca had taken that day off work in order to go to the hospital with Chloe, but she had to go into the studio the following day, and so this was the only opportunity she'd have to clean the house. She started with the dishes, soaking and drying the build-up of plates and cutlery that had accumulated over the week. She then picked up all of Amy's clothes, praying the blonde wouldn't throw them all over the floor again when she returned back home. Beca was about to empty the washing machine when Amy came through the door. She was wearing her 'Fat Amy Winehouse' attire, and dragging her bag along the floor.

"I need food." She moaned, rather loudly. Beca urged her to be quiet as she poured herself and Amy some soup with a slice of bread. Amy frowned;

"Why, did the neighbours complain again? Because the first time really wasn't my fault." Amy continued, still as loud as before.

"No, Chloe's asleep." Beca explained, sitting down on the old sofa and turning the TV on.

"What, is she sick or something?" the blonde asked, plonking herself down next to Beca and digging into her soup.

Beca hesitated, "No… she's just tired, I guess work is busy for her." She said, not really feeling hungry for the soup after her day at the hospital.

"Ah well, if she doesn't wake up soon, I'm gonna eat her soup, because this is delicious." Amy said, already halfway through her dinner.

The pair sat and watched the TV for about an hour before Beca heard sounds coming from Chloe's bedroom. She leapt up before Amy could say anything and hurried into the redhead's room to see what was going on. She found Chloe leaning over the side of her bed, retching weakly. Beca gently helped the redhead out of bed and lead her to the bathroom, praying Amy was too engrossed in ANTM to notice. Chloe threw up weakly into the toilet before turning to Beca.

"Thanks, for today. Chemo would have been scary on my own, but having you there made it okay." She mumbled. Beca smiled at her, sitting down against the wall and taking Chloe's hand.

"Chloe… I meant to ask this the day you told about your cancer, but I never got the chance; I was just wondering… what are the chances you will, you know… not make it." Beca chocked out, gripping Chloe's hand harder than she meant to.

Chloe took a moment to answer, not meeting Beca's gaze as she said, "There's about a 40% chance I'll live." She muttered quietly, her hand shaking as it held Beca's.

Beca didn't reply, just stared at the floor as she tried to process the information given to her by Chloe. She couldn't find any words to convey how she felt. Her best friend had just told her that she had a higher chance of dying than she did living, and Beca didn't know what to do. All of a sudden, she felt tears threatening to fall, and her mind swam with emotions. Beca Mitchell didn't cry. She hadn't cried when her parents split, she hadn't cried when Dumbledore died, she hadn't even cried when Chloe had told her that she had leukaemia. But suddenly, when presented with the prospect that Chloe Beale, the best friend she had ever had, might not beat the illness that was consuming her body, Beca felt the tears falling. She pulled Chloe into an embrace and quietly cried on her shoulder, gripping Chloe's hoodie so hard she was worried she would rip the material. Beca and Chloe stayed holding each other tightly and crying quietly for what felt like years, and only broke apart when Chloe had to be sick again.

"Will you sleep in my bed tonight?" Chloe asked quietly as she wiped her face with a wet flannel, her face pale as a sheet.

"Of course." Beca swallowed, not looking at Chloe's wan face, only looking at the redhead's beautiful eyes.

Beca went back into the kitchen to tell Amy she was going to sleep and to quickly wash up after dinner, which neither she nor Chloe had eaten. Amy nodded, admitting that she was going to hit the hay too. Beca let Amy use the bathroom first, hurriedly putting the wet clothes from the washing machine on the radiator before waiting until Amy was done. 'Wow' Beca thought to herself, 'I think tonight's the first time I've ever done chores without being asked'.

Amy smacked Beca's bum when she was finished in the bathroom,

"Night short-stack" she called, waving over her shoulder.

"Night." Beca mumbled in reply, stepping into the bathroom and looking at herself in the mirror. She still smelt vaguely of the hospital, and her eyes where puffy from crying. Strands of hair fell across her face, and her still hands shook slightly from her talk with Chloe. She brushed her teeth quickly before washing her face and slipping into her pyjamas. She hoped Amy didn't notice as she slipped into Chloe's room and hopped into bed next to the redhead. The lights were already off, but Chloe's wasn't asleep, she'd been waiting for Beca to climb in next to her.

"Can… you hold me Beca?" Chloe asked quietly, shivering despite the pile of blankets that lay on top of her.

Beca didn't reply, just scooted closer to Chloe and wrapped her arms round her. Chloe snuggled closer to Beca, tucking her head under the brunette's chin and finally letting herself properly relax for the first time in a while.

Beca couldn't help but feel that this kind of contact went further and deeper than friendship, because it felt so right. She didn't care that she was slightly too hot because of all the blankets on the bed, she just wanted Chloe to be happy. Beca had never been touchy-feely, and would usually pull away when someone got intimate with her, but having Chloe tucked gently into her chest felt so normal, so equitable, that Beca never wanted it to end. Beca wanted Chloe, she wanted her in her days, she wanted her in her nights. She couldn't imagine a world without Chloe Beale, because Chloe Beale was her world. Beca never wanted to let go of Chloe, not now, not ever.

' **Hold me close, I need you so I want you in my dreams. You'll see I've come a long way for you, my love.'**


	3. You Only Need You

**A/N: Hey, so here's the third chapter. I know the general direction I want this fic to go in, but if you have any suggestions, or if there's something you want to see happen then please review and let me know. I would love to incorporate different views and ideas into this story, with the help of you guys :)**

 **I know I said that the chapter songs wouldn't all be by Tom Rosenthal but at this point I'm going to give up looking for songs by other artist because for me, his songs really fit the emotion of this fanfiction. The lyrics of the songs might not necessarily tell the same story, but yeah, I just think the emotions of the songs and this fanfic go hand in hand.**

 **So, this chapter's song is 'You Only Need You' by none other than Tom Rosenthal.**

Chloe woke up the next morning, terrified. She was terrified for 3 reasons: she'd had a nightmare; Beca wasn't next to her, and she had cancer. She'd woken up every morning since she'd found out, sweating and scared – 'you have cancer' playing over and over in her head.

Chloe figured Beca wasn't there since she had gone to work, and she was proved right when she noticed a little note sat on Beca's pillow. The note was written on the back of a ripped-out magazine page, and was covered in Beca's tiny scrawl. It read;

'Didn't want to wake you, had to go to work. I left the porridge out on the counter – have some for breakfast. I'll be back late tonight – could you start tidying the house for when Aubrey comes tomorrow? See you later, take care of yourself.

Beca x'

Chloe sighed after reading the letter. She'd had one chemo session and Beca was already treating her like some old woman, leaving porridge out for her and telling her to take care of herself. Still, Chloe tried to stay positive. She managed to drag herself out of bed despite how her body ached everywhere and she even managed to eat some porridge, ignoring the nausea that caused her stomach to clench and her head to pound.

After breakfast, Chloe collapsed on the sofa, cursing about how tired she was. Chloe had known that chemotherapy would affect her; she'd read article after article and watched video after video about people's struggle with cancer and chemo and she'd managed to convince herself that it wouldn't be that bad. She had been so wrong. Even after 11 hours of sleep, Chloe was beyond tired. She barely had the strength to move, and whenever she did move, it sent pain shooting through her body. Bruises covered her arms and legs, and she knew how rough she looked. She was pale, with increasingly dark circles under her eyes. Basically, she was already beginning to look and feel like a cancer patient, and she hated it.

Turning on the TV, Chloe tried to forget about her unresponsive body as she began watching Finding Nemo. Without meaning to, Chloe fell asleep after 20 minutes and only woke up when the dishwasher started beeping. Groaning, Chloe hauled herself off the sofa and trudged over to the washing machine only to find another note from Beca.

'I put some clothes in the wash this morning, can you spread them round the house to dry?

Thanks,

Beca x'

"Jeez," Chloe muttered, "I never thought Beca would be the one telling _me_ to do housework".

Having somehow found the strength to spread the washing around, Chloe went back to bed and slept right through Beca returning home.

Chloe didn't ask her to, but Beca slept in the redhead's room again that night, finding that her own room felt empty and cold. Beca just hoped Amy didn't notice.

The pair were woken up early the next morning by a curt knock at the door.

"I'll get it," Beca mumbled into her pillow, practically falling out of bed and opening the door.

Aubrey stood in the doorway, looking pretty and immaculate in skinny jeans and a blazer.

"Hey! Beca!" Aubrey smiled, dropping her bags and pulling the groggy brunette into a quick hug. Beca, slightly surprised by Aubrey warm welcome just hugged back and invited Aubrey in.

"I'll just go get dressed. Make yourself at home." Beca said, hurrying back into Chloe's room. She found Chloe awake, though still in bed, her hand over her face.

"Get up Chloe, Aubrey's here. Are you ready to tell her?" Beca asked, tugging on a pair of jeans and one of Chloe's hoodies that lay discarded on the floor.

"No." Chloe mumbled in reply. "Is Amy still in?"

Beca shook her head, "She left at about 5 in the morning, she has some out of town Fat Amy Winehouse gig. She'll be gone for the next couple of days." She explained, noticing how Chloe's eyes looked duller than usual. Chloe's usual, playful light still shone in them, but it was more subdued than usual. It pained Beca to see the redhead so weak.

Chloe felt even worse that morning than she had the day before. Her head pounded and even the slightest movements sent pain surging through her body. She was tired beyond words, despite the amount of sleep she had gotten, and she was dreading telling Aubrey about her cancer.

Gritting her teeth against the pain, Chloe got out of bed and brushed her teeth. She looked at what she was wearing – cotton shorts and a blue jumper that was way too big for her. The shorts showed the bruises all over her legs and the baggy jumper just emphasised the fact that she was already losing weight. Chloe knew that she should make herself look better so as to soften the blow for Aubrey, but she didn't have the energy. She simply tied her hair into a messy bun and washed her face, hoping it would wake her up a bit.

Chloe found Beca waiting for her in their bedroom. Yes, their bedroom. Chloe had the feeling Beca wouldn't be sleeping anywhere else for a while, and she was grateful for it. Beca was really the only thing keeping her from sinking into a hole of cancer ridden hell. She needed to stay her usual happy, bubbly self For Beca's sake.

"Let's go." Beca smiled reassuringly. Chloe followed her into the living room, thinking about how much Beca had changed since the day Chloe had told her about her cancer. She'd dropped her whole 'bad-ass, hard to get through to' act around Chloe, and she'd just been caring beyond words. Beca had started doing chores around the house, and she seemed so comfortable with holding, touching and caring for Chloe. Beca acted as if it was all fine, as if Chloe's condition wasn't eating away at her but in truth, it was killing her. She hated seeing Chloe in this state – weak and tired. Beca's nightmares were filled with Chloe, dying or dead. When she woke up there was no relief from her night terrors, because Chloe _was_ dying. Chloe was dying of cancer, and it was all happening before Beca's eyes. There was nothing she could do about. It was the most painful thing Beca had ever experienced.

"Chloe…" came Aubrey's voice when Chloe entered the room, snapping the pair out of their daze. "You… what's happened?" Aubrey breathed, clearly at a loss for words at seeing the redhead like this.

Beca and Chloe had planned a gentle, slow reveal to Aubrey about the redhead's cancer, but Chloe couldn't stop herself as she choked out,

"I have cancer, Aubrey. I have cancer."

' **Can you hold me to my word; my nights are cold, my memories blurred.**

 **You have a lot of love to give out; you're gonna see the highs and the lows'**


	4. Fine One Day

**A/N: Hey, here's the next chapter, hope it's okay :)**

 **Updates will probably start slowing down now because I'm back at school after the holidays. Sad times.**

 **Please review, fav, follow and enjoy.**

 **This chapter's song is 'Fine One Day' by…Tom Rosenthal. Who would have guessed it?**

" _I have cancer, Aubrey. I have cancer."_

Aubrey was at a complete and utter loss for words. She had come over to Beca, Chloe and Amys' for the weekend, expecting a carefree couple of days filled with laughing and singing. Ten minutes into her visit and her best friend, pale and weak, was telling her that she had cancer.

"Say something, please." Came Chloe's quiet voice. Aubrey realised she'd been silently staring at the redhead for ages, and snapped out of her daze.

"When did you find out?" Aubrey asked, trying to hide the shake in her voice.

"About a week ago. I've already had one chemotherapy session… it was fine." Chloe lied, deciding not to tell the blonde how awful she felt as a result of it.

Aubrey was shocked to hear that Chloe had already had a chemo session. It really was real. Chloe had cancer. Aubrey's best friend since freshman year had cancer.

"What… what kind of cancer is it?" Aubrey asked, needing to grasp all the details, needing to understand what was happening to her best friend.

"Leukaemia. Acute myeloid leukaemia." Chloe swallowed, the words feeling wrong in her mouth.

"Are you… are you going to die" Aubrey sobbed, unable to control the tears that began streaming down her face. Chloe couldn't answer, her throat had closed up. She collapsed beside Aubrey on the sofa and let the blonde take her hands.

Beca could see the redhead struggling to answer so she said;

"Chloe will survive. She has a 40% survival rate. She'll make it through. You're strong, aren't you Chlo?" Beca tried, her hands shaking at her side.

Again, Chloe didn't reply. Aubrey looked at her best friend and her heart wrenched when Chloe smiled at her. It was Chloe Beale's smile; unfalteringly friendly, hopeful and warm. It reminded Aubrey of all the time they had spent together and how… maybe… their time together was coming to an end. She felt more tears threatening to fall, but she told herself that she needed to get a grip.

"Get dressed Chloe, we're going out for lunch, my shout." Aubrey said, standing and taking a deep breath. Beca smiled gratefully at her, clearly happy for an excuse to get out the flat that only reminded her of Chloe's sickness.

Chloe groaned but obliged, changing on her own so no-one would see the bruises covering her chest and stomach. She got dressed into a pair of loose mom jeans and a long sleeve, baggy t-shirt - to cover up any bruising. She tucked the shirt in and grabbed a long, woolly cardigan, feeling chilled to the bone despite the mild march weather.

Beca and Aubrey where already waiting for her in the hall outside their apartment. The blonde linked arms with the redhead as Beca locked the door behind them.

The trio walked in silence to a cute café a couple of blocks away. They found a table by the big window that looked out onto the busy street and sat down there, each claiming their own big arm chair. Beca and Chloe sat on one side of the table so Aubrey sat on the other side, facing Chloe and trying to read the redhead's expression. Chloe seemed distant the entire meal. She ate her veggie toastie incredibly slowly, and didn't look as though she was enjoying it, despite the fact that it was her favourite sandwich. Aubrey and Beca tried to engage Chloe in conversation, but she was so distant that they eventually gave up, giving the redhead a moment of quiet to herself.

"You'll be okay, you know." Aubrey said after a while, setting down her coffee mug and taking Chloe's cold hands in her own. Beca leaned in, offering Chloe silent support as she struggled to look at Aubrey.

"Will I, Aubrey?" Chloe muttered. "Because right now I just feel like crap."

Aubrey looked slightly taken aback by Chloe's harsh reply, but she continued anyway.

"Chloe, you are the strongest, happiest, most amazing person I know. If anyone can survive this, you can. You've got me and you've got Beca, we're here to help. Beca's taking such good care of you -I can tell that you're in the best hands. We'll get through this together. Call me whenever you need, and don't be afraid to feel weak. Okay Chloe? Never give up. Never give up on me, or Beca, or yourself." Aubrey said, not breaking eye contact with her best friend. Beca's hand traced soft circles on Chloe's back as Aubrey said this, Beca only hoped that the blonde didn't notice. Beca didn't want Aubrey to speculate on how the brunette felt towards Chloe, because she wasn't even sure herself. She traced the circles subtly, so only Chloe would know what she was doing. Chloe looked up with a sad smile to her best friends.

"It will be fine one day. Even if I'm not he-" Chloe started before she was cut off by Aubrey.

"Don't speak like that Chloe. You can't talk about you… dying. I won't let you."

"No, I need to talk about it. Aubrey, I might die because of this cancer." Chloe started, silent tears running down all three girl's cheeks. "I might die. Whether I die this time round, or if I go into remission and the cancer comes back, we need to accept that I might die. I'm not going to give up on either of you, I promise; but I can't promise that I'll always be here. If I don't make it, please remember that I love you both, and I just want you to be happy." Chloe turned to look at Beca, she took the brunette's hands and gazed right into her stormy eyes. "Please, you'll be okay, one day. Please don't spend too long being sad about me, know that I never want you to be sad, just happy." Chloe was going to continue but Beca shook her head and cut the redhead off;

"Aubrey's right, we shouldn't talk about this." She said, ignoring the tears dripping onto her collar and clearing all their plates onto a tray. "Let's go to the park or something, it's too hot in here."

Chloe stood up but stumbled, her head spinning and nausea climbing up her throat. She paled, and Beca noticed Chloe's funny turn. She steadied her, deciding it would be better if they just went straight home. Chloe nodded in agreement, taking deep breaths and trying to clear her fuzzy vision. Aubrey wouldn't let the redhead go anywhere until she was sure Chloe wasn't going to faint. After a few funny looks from other people in the café and Chloe's continued reassurance that she was fine, the three left the shop and walked slowly home, both Aubrey and Beca staying close by Chloe's side, making sure she was steady and feeling okay.

Chloe wanted to thank her friend's for caring so much, but honestly it was just frustrating how dependant she was becoming on other people. She really was trying to stay happy and optimistic about everything that was going on, but with Beca and Aubrey both acting as if the word 'die' was taboo, it was difficult to express any kind of emotion. She wanted to just say what was on her mind and be truthful to her two best friends, but they were already so downhearted about the whole affair that she couldn't bring herself to. And what frustrated her most of all was Beca. She never knew how to act around the brunette. Whenever they were alone, Beca would be quite talkative and very affectionate towards Chloe. Beca would happily hold the redhead's hand, she would hold her in bed without being asked and she would idly touch Chloe as though it just felt right; which it did. All Chloe wanted was to be touching, holding, looking at Beca. But when they were with anyone else, Beca would go back to being her usual 'don't touch me' self. She looked nervous whenever Chloe took her hands in front of Aubrey, despite how much she did it when they were alone, and she wouldn't sit anywhere near Chloe when they were watching TV with Amy. Chloe just wanted Beca to feel comfortable around her all the time, not just when they were alone. Chloe loved Beca, a lot. She didn't know what that love meant -whether it went deeper than friendship, she wasn't sure – she just knew that she loved Beca, and that she was happiest around the brunette, as she was sure Beca was happiest around her too.

Chloe often welcomed the distraction of her complicated relationship with Beca – it took her mind off the constant ache that rang through her body – but as the trio made their way back into the flat, Chloe wished she could think about anything else, because she was emotional enough as it was, she didn't need the added weight of her feelings towards Beca Mitchell as well.

' **Hey love we're gonna be fine one day,**

 **Oh our lives will move with the breeze and that's how it will be.'**


	5. Saving Us a Riot

**A/N: Hey guys, here's the fifth chapter. Thanks so much for the reviews, favs and follows, they really mean a lot, so keep them coming! I'm sorry if some of the characters in this chapter are a bit OOC, I tried my best to keep them true to the films but yeah, they might stray from their usual characteristics a bit.**

 **This chapter's song is 'Saving Us a Riot' by Phoria, hope you enjoy :)**

The next couple of weeks pasted by uneventfully. Chloe went through two chemo sessions, and was able to manage her sickness better each time. She got slightly less tired and slightly less sick after each one, and although the pain in her body was still unbearable, the progress put her in better spirits.

She was almost the old Chloe again, greeting everyone with a happy smile, asking how Beca's day was every time she returned home from work, doing the washing and making delicious meals that left Beca and Amys' mouths-watering for hours.

The best part of those two weeks for Chloe were the occasional days Beca would take off work to stay at home with Chloe. They would spend the day watching crappy TV shows, baking and generally basking in the joy of each other's company. Every now and then, Aubrey would come over for an evening to spend time with Chloe, for the blonde's own peace of mind. Aubrey needed to see that Chloe was okay. She needed to look past Chloe's bruised, thinning body and see that her best friend was smiling and happy, and that was what she always saw.

Things seemed to be getting better. Chloe seemed to be getting better. The only issue was hiding it from the other Bellas, especially Amy. It was difficult to hide the fact that Chloe wasn't working, it was difficult to hide the fact that Chloe was pale and constantly tired, it was difficult to hide all of Chloe's medication and cancer help leaflets. It was difficult to hide the fact that Beca was sleeping in Chloe's bed every night, snuggled right up close to the redhead, afraid that if she let go, Chloe would slip from her grasp forever.

Eventually, the odd looks from Amy and the curious texts from the Bellas asking why they hadn't met up in weeks became too much, and Beca confronted Chloe.

"We need to tell the Bellas about your cancer. It's not fair to keep lying to them, especially Amy." Beca said forcefully, standing over Chloe who had been falling asleep on the sofa.

"We?" was Chloe's only reply, silently grateful that Beca had chosen to use that pronoun.

"Of course, I'd never make you tell them on your own, we're in this together." Beca said, sitting beside Chloe and taking her hands without a second thought, surprising herself at how natural it felt.

Chloe smiled at Beca and nodded slightly.

"Tell them all to come over tonight. I want to tell them as soon as possible, before I lose my nerve."

Chloe spent the rest of the day pulling herself together. She used makeup to hide some of the bruising and the dark circles under her eyes. She got properly dressed, as opposed to just wearing cotton shorts and a hoodie, and rehearsed the conversation with the Bellas over and over in the mirror.

Eventually, the time came to tell the Bellas. They arrived in small bunches – Jessica and Ashley were first, then Aubrey. Next came Cynthia Rose, Stacey and Amy. Amy had spent the day with the other two Bellas and looked sceptically at Beca and Chloe when she came in. Finally came Emily, Lilly and Flo.

No-one seemed to notice Chloe's slightly different, fatigued appearance, they were just all excited to hear how Beca's big record label was going. She lied, saying that it was great and that she was making some really great music. The truth was her bosses where getting annoyed at how much time she was spending off work and she found that she really couldn't make any good music. There were no genius musical melodies or backing tracks flying around her brain, because they only thing on her mind was Chloe. The Bellas bought her lies, and continued catching up amongst themselves as Chloe built herself up to tell them about her cancer. The radio bumbled quietly in the corner, playing songs that people would hum along to in unison, creating a pleasant and nostalgic atmosphere. After about half an hour, Aubrey, who knew that tonight was the night Chloe was going to tell the girls about her condition, rounded the Bellas up, and got them all sitting in a circle around the living room.

"Alright, so some of you might remember a few years ago, back at college, we all sat in a circle and told everyone something that no-one knew about themselves so that we could sort out all our problems? Well, I know that we don't exactly have any 'problems' that we need to overcome as a group, but I think we should try it again, only this time say something that's happened to you since leaving college. It will be a nice way to catch up with each other, and I know there are people here who have things they want to get off their chests." Aubrey said, glancing round the group, her gaze ending up on Chloe's pale face.

"I'll go first." Beca said, hoping it would help Chloe settle in and build up the nerve to tell everyone. "Since college, I've spoken a lot more to 'the stepmonster'. I found that she wasn't really as bad as I thought, and she makes my dad happy so…you know… I guess that's okay. I can live with that." Beca mumbled, still not really comfortable with sharing things that personal with the Bellas; Chloe offered Beca a small smile as they waited for the next person to speak up. Stacey went next, she revealed how she'd managed to cut down the amount of sex she had each month, and had taken up life-coaching as a replacement pass-time. Everyone congratulated her and slowly they moved round the circle, each Bella talking about something they had accomplished or experienced since college. Finally, it was Chloe's turn. She clenched her hands in her lap to try and hide the fact that they were violently shaking and ignored the blush that heated her cheeks. She took heaved a sigh and opened her eyes, looking at all the Bellas patiently waiting for her to talk about life after college. She noticed Beca giving her a reassuring smile and took a deep breath.

"I have… cancer. Since college, I've contracted leukaemia. That's why we haven't met up in ages; and sorry Amy, that's why things have been weird here at home. Beca's been taking care of me. I've had a few chemo sessions and… yeah. That's what's happened since college." Chloe said, not taking her eyes off Beca as she said this, soaking up the reassurance that poured from Beca's stormy eyes.

There was a moment of silence before an avalanche of noise exploded from the Bellas. Jessica and Ashley offered Chloe comfort, saying how they'd always be there if she needed her. Cynthia Rose just blurted how she couldn't believe Chloe was having to face something that heavy barely a few years out of college. Stacey started crying and Emily looked on the verge of tears. They both started preaching about how amazing Chloe was and how she didn't deserve this. The most noise came from Amy.

Amy wanted to offer her support to the redhead, however she couldn't help but feel hurt that Beca had known and she hadn't.

"We live together, for acca-god's sake. I knew something was going on, why didn't you just tell me? I could've helped! How come Beca knew before me? How come you told Aubrey but not me, she doesn't even live in the same city as us!" Amy exclaimed, her accent getting thicker as she got more worked up.

Aubrey then started explaining how her and Chloe had been friends for years, and that it was completely fair that she knew before Amy. This only made the large blonde more agitated. She started getting annoyed about how close Chloe and Beca had been getting, explaining how she felt left out. The other Bellas raised their voices in order to be heard over Amy and the noise level just rose and rose. Chloe was about to break down in tears when a song started playing on the radio, shutting all the Bellas up.

The song playing was one that all the Bellas recognised, even Emily and Flo. It was one Beca had sung during her first performance with the Bellas.

Paying quietly on the radio was non-other than the song 'Eternal Flame' by The Bangles. The Bellas listened to it all the way through, no-one saying a word as they were reminded of their earliest performances at Barden. They all thought how much better it sounded when it was sung by their favourite redhead who was sat, leaning into Beca and trying to hold in tears that so badly wanted to fall. Amy was the first to break the peaceful silence once the song had finished,

"I'm sorry. I'm just upset. Now that I know, I'll always be here to help. And if you and Beca ever need space, just let me know and I can spend the night at Stacey's or something. I only want to help you get better, Chloe." Amy said solemnly, directly addressing the weak redhead. Chloe nodded her thanks, giving everyone a sad smile.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell all you guys earlier. I just wasn't ready and I didn't want to bog you guys down. Don't be worrying about me all the time, I'm fine. Thanks to Beca, and Aubrey, I'm fine."

The Bellas all comforted Chloe, bidding their goodbyes and one by one departing the flat. Aubrey stayed behind to help tidy up before following the rest of the Bellas and heading home, gently squeezing Chloe's shoulders as she left.

Amy went straight to bed, clearly still hurt about not being told sooner, leaving Beca and Chloe still sat curled up on the floor.

"You did it." Beca whispered, pulling Chloe into a tight embrace. "And thank god for 'Eternal Flame', it certainly shut everyone up pretty fast."

Chloe chuckled quietly. "Thank you, Beca. There was no-way I would have been able to do that without you next to me." The redhead said, putting her forehead against Beca's. They sat like that for a while, foreheads gently touching, hand in hand, for a while. They eventually broke up to go to bed, where the lay curled around one another, letting each other's heartbeats lull them gently to sleep.

' **There's a lullaby, saving us a riot,**

 **Giving back the time, stilling my desire'**


	6. Middle Of My Mind

**A/N: Hey, so I should definitely be revising for a maths test right now because it's going on my report and I'm currently failing maths but I wanted to write instead. Please review and let me know what you think so far :)**

 **This chapter's song is 'Middle Of My Mind' by Tom Rosenthal.**

Another week pasted by uneventfully. Chloe had another chemo session, Beca's bosses got increasingly annoyed at her for the amount of days she was taking off and Amy slowly began to forgive her two flatmates.

One Monday night when Beca should have been working, her and Chloe were sat at the little piano in their apartment, messing around and seeing if they could come up with any nice harmonies. The two were laughing a lot as everything they played sounded awful, but every time Chloe giggled, a hacking cough ripped through her body. It really worried Beca, she knew that Chloe was more susceptible to illness and infection, and so was determined to take Chloe to the doctor if the cough didn't go away soon. When the two went to bed, Chloe seemed to break out in a fit of coughs every 5 minutes, and Beca found herself holding her breath until Chloe started breathing normally again every time.

That night, Beca didn't sleep one wink as she spent the entire night checking that Chloe was breathing, each rasping breath that came from the sleeping redhead sounding as if it where grating against her lungs. In the morning, Beca had to leave for work before Chloe woke up, and so she reluctantly left the redhead alone, ignoring the heavy weight of fatigue threatening to pull her back to bed.

Chloe had started getting weaker lately. Her usually thick, luscious hair had started thinning, losing some of its bouncy, natural curls. Chloe seemed constantly tired, with barely enough energy to get up in the morning. She always had dark circles under her eyes, and every day a new collection of bruises appeared on her body.

When Beca got into work that day, she was immediately confronted by her assistant. He was a nice enough guy – a very talented musician who was great at helping Beca produce and make music – but he hadn't taken Beca's constant absences well. In all fairness, Beca's failure to turn up to work usually meant he got dumped with all her jobs, but Beca _had_ tried explaining to him why she was often off. He wouldn't have any of it, constantly saying that if Beca really wanted to support her friend, she should work so they'd be able to pay for Chloe's medical fees. Beca was usually able to ignore her assistant's constant nagging and moaning, but today she couldn't take it. She was beyond tired, she was really worried about Chloe's cough, and he wouldn't give her a moment of peace

After 10 minutes of his moaning, Beca snapped. She blew off at him, telling him to get out her office and leave her alone for the rest of the day. He seemed happy to oblige – he strutted out the office, his head held high with indignance and slammed the door forcefully behind him. Beca felt bad for shouting at him almost immediately, but was happy that she would have the rest of the day to herself to catch up with all her work and maybe have a quick nap at her desk.

Beca's day seemed to drag on forever. She managed to get through all her paper work and have a quick phone call with Aubrey about Chloe's cough, but after that she still had hours before it would be acceptable to go home. After a while of deliberating about what to do, Beca decided to call Chloe. The phone rang for a moment, before Chloe picked up, her voice cheerful but tired.

"Hey Beca, what's up?"

"Not much, I just wanted to call you to check everything was okay at home." Beca said, her heart skipping at the sound of Chloe's sweet voice.

"It's all good. I had the breakfast you left out for me. Everything okay at work?" Chloe asked, coughing quietly as she waited for Beca to reply.

Beca hated how stilted the phone call became as they conversed - small talk and refined laughs making up the conversation. Chloe's occasional coughs caused Beca to flinch and the brunette couldn't focus on anything but how weak Chloe sounded. They spoke for about an hour, both girls enjoying the sound of the other's voice more than the actual conversation itself.

Once Chloe hung up, Beca felt an odd wave of sadness wash over her. The way Chloe's voice had just been cut off with the press of the button only made Beca think about how easily she could lose Chloe; in that moment, Beca realised why she had been feeling so reluctant to admit that she… had feelings for Chloe.

Beca was afraid. Beca was scared to love Chloe because she didn't want to lose someone she cared so deeply for. Beca didn't want to fall in love with the intoxicating redhead only to have everything ripped away from her if Chloe didn't make it. Beca knew it was selfish of her, she knew that she owed it to Chloe to tell her how she felt, but Beca didn't think she could cope if she allowed herself to fall for the redhead only to lose it her to this crappy illness.

Beca sat there in her breezy, spacious office and let go of herself like she had never let go before. Ever since Chloe had told Beca about her illness, Beca had tried her hardest to keep it together for the redhead's sake. There had been occasional blips, where Beca had broken down in front of Chloe, but she had never fallen apart like did that day in her office. Beca's shoulders convulsed with sobs and ugly cries ripped her tired body. She just wished she could love Chloe like anyone else would love their crush, but things were complicated. Tears poured down Beca's face as she thought about what her life would like without Chloe. Chloe was the sunshine in Beca's life; Chloe's hair always smelt like cupcakes, her eyes always glowed as if lit from within and her face never failed to tear Beca's heart from her chest. Chloe was the most beautiful person Beca had ever laid eyes upon, and as Beca finally admitted to herself how much she loved the conflicted redhead, it only became harder for Beca to accept that Chloe might not always be there.

Chloe was dying. Beca could see it. Each day, it would get harder for Chloe to get up in the morning, it would get harder for Chloe to laugh, or even smile. Beca could see Chloe growing tired with her fight against cancer, and with every whisp of hair that fell from Chloe's head, with every new bruised that appeared on her already battered body, Beca could see Chloe contemplating giving up.

Beca knew there was one thing that might stop Chloe from giving up, but she didn't know if she was brave enough admit it. Beca wanted to leap from her chair and pour her hurting heart out to the sick redhead, in the hopes of giving the redhead something to hold onto but she wasn't sure if she was ready.

Beca knew she had work to do, she knew that her assistant and her boss would only become more infuriated if she went home now; but she had to see Chloe, and she had to tell her about the war that was raging in her heart before she lost the nerve.

Not even bothering to clear up her desk, Beca slung her bag over her shoulder and hurried out her office, barging past everyone in the studio and racing to her car. She drove like a maniac home, ignoring all the speed limits and stop signs, incredibly surprised she didn't get pulled over by the cops.

When Beca made it to the flat, she threw her bag on the floor and went to stand in the middle of the living room, finding Chloe leaning against the kitchen counter. Beca made no attempt to calm her racing heart as she looked Chloe right in the eyes and chocked out,

"I love you, Chloe. I love you so much, but I've been afraid to say anything because… I don't want to lose you. Please don't give up. I can't imagine my life without you. You need to keep fighting this cancer Chloe, because I can't live in a world where you're not there. I…" Beca trailed off when she saw Chloe's expression. It was a mix of shock, wonder and yearning. There was a moment of fervent silence before Chloe rushed forward and took Beca's face in her hands.

"You don't know how long I've been waiting for you to say that." Chloe breathed, leaning forward and kissing Beca gently on the lips.

' **Did you ever know that you were in the middle of my mind?**

 **I could never figure out why you were so hard to find.**

 **You were in the sand, dancing forever,**

 **I was there with you, somehow, somehow…'**


	7. Love Like Ghosts

**A/N: Yep, I should have definitely revised for that maths test because I had it today and I'm almost certain I failed it. Ah well, I've never been a big fan of maths anyway :)**

 **I don't own pitch perfect or any of that characters – just a little disclaimer – please review, fav and follow. Thanks to everyone reading, hope you enjoy!**

 **The song for this chapter is 'Love Like Ghosts' by Lord Huron.**

That night was the best night of Beca's life. She was able to forget about everything weighing her down – Chloe's cancer, her job, the rent – and just focus on Chloe and her. Nothing could get in the way of the undeniable connection between them; their bodies simply fitted together perfectly, and they got swept away in a sea of passion. Chloe and Beca spent most of the night awake, feeding on the undampened love that poured from them both.

They had both never experienced anything like it in their lives. Never had so much pent up emotion and admiration been released in such a fashion before – neither of them wanted it to end. Eventually, when Beca and Chloe where hot and breathless, they lay down on top of the duvet together, listening to each other's racing heartbeats.

"I love you so much." Beca whispered, lacing her fingers through Chloe's.

"I love you too." Chloe breathed in reply, utterly exhausted, but feeling happier than she had in a very long time.

They lay in silence for a while longer, until Beca noticed Chloe's breathing even out. Chloe fell asleep, her hand still intertwined with Beca's and her cheeks still flushed with desire. Beca smiled at the sleeping redhead before her and thought about how lucky she was to have someone like Chloe in her life.

It took Beca a while to get to sleep herself, but when she eventually did, her dreams weren't plagued by her usual demons - they were instead filled with Chloe's smiling face, flushed and alive as her and Beca basked in the pleasure of each other's company.

Beca's alarm woke her up early the next morning. Beca fumbled for her phone in the semi-darkness, reluctant to accept the fact that she would have to go into work and face the wrath of her assistant and boss. Beca tried not to flinch as Chloe let out a raking cough in her sleep, and began to get dressed; she pulled on the same clothes she had worn yesterday, her still mind foggy with sleep and lingering pleasure from the events of that night.

She kissed Chloe gently on the forehead before she stepped out the room, not noticing at the time how feverish the redhead was. Beca left Chloe's breakfast out for her as she did every morning and finally made it out the flat. When Beca got to work, she went straight to her office after deciding that if anyone had anything to say to her, they could come and find her. Beca found that she was more productive than normal that day, driven on by the thought of going home to a waiting Chloe and cherishing her as she had always hoped she would be able to.

Beca's day was ruined when her boss strode into her office. He was a tall, broad shouldered man with flawless chocolate skin. Beca had never seen him without his favourite dark shades over his eyes, and he always wore a creaseless grey suit that did a great job of accentuating his lean muscles. He stood behind Beca's messy desk and glared down at her over the top of his glasses, folding his arms behind his back.

"Beca, I have a proposition." He boomed, getting straight to the point, not wishing to waste any time on matter. "There's no denying that your attention on your job has been…elsewhere recently. And I understand that your friend is sick, but in an industry such as this, we cannot afford to waste time. Music is constantly changing, and we need to keep up with those trends. I need you to be working hard when you're here – I don't want you to be spending half your time at home. This is my proposition: you either prove to me that you are dedicated to your profession, and accompany me and a select few members of the studio on a three-week trip to New York, where we will be exploring the music trends there, or you quit your job. I need to see that you want to be doing this, and that you are prepared to leave home for a couple of weeks in order to give your undivided attention to this studio and its music. It's your choice, but I want your answer by this time tomorrow." He explained, offering only a curt nod as a goodbye.

Beca was left sat at her desk feeling more conflicted than she had in a very long time.

When Chloe woke up that same day, the first thing she noticed was that Beca wasn't next to her. Beca was rarely there in the morning, she had always gone to work by the time Chloe awoke, but that morning Chloe sensed her absence more than usual. Chloe's body still tingled with joy at the memory of last night with Beca, but the overriding sensation in her body was pain. Her ribs ached with how often and harshly she had been coughing and a pounding headache was building between her eyes. She felt weaker than usual, with not even enough energy to tuck herself back under the covers. Her and Beca had fallen asleep on top of the duvet, having been too hot to pull the sheets over themselves, but now Chloe trembled with cold - her limbs shaking uncontrollably, despite the small beads of sweat that trickled down her back. Chloe realised through the painful fog in her mind that she had a fever; along with her worsening cough, Chloe had a fever. She knew that she should tell someone about it – the doctors had warned that if Chloe got the slightest bit sick, she should go straight to the hospital - but Chloe didn't have the strength to reach for her phone. And besides, even if she was able to dial for someone, who would she call? Beca was at work, and she really couldn't afford to have even an hour off with her current workload that had built up during all her time off; Aubrey was at her Lodge of Fallen Leaves, too far away to help, and none of the other Bellas knew enough about Chloe's condition to be of any help.

Chloe let out a raspy sigh, closing her eyes and wishing that the ringing in her ears would stop for one moment. She found herself drifting in and out of consciousness for hours, feeling slightly more feverish each time she woke up.

Finally, at what she figured must be about lunch time, Chloe somehow managed to conjure enough strength to get out of bed. Her head pounded, she swayed where she stood and sweat glided down her face, but she was determined to do something with her day.

Chloe made it as far as the kitchen before the room started spinning quickly around Chloe. Her head felt detached from her body, and Chloe was barely conscious enough to register that she had fallen to the floor in the middle of the kitchen. She was vaguely aware of the fact that she had hit her head on the corner of the counter on the way down, although the only thing that made her aware of this was the thick dribble of blood than ran down her face. Chloe's vision began to go grey, but she tried her best to cling onto the last threads of consciousness that threatened to fade. Blood began pooling in a small puddle around where Chloe's head was resting on the cool tiles. Chloe tried to keep herself awake, afraid that if she was to pass out now, she might never wake up again.

Chloe tried to distract herself from the situation, anything to keep her awake, and found that her pain and worry vanished as Beca's eyes filled her thoughts. Chloe realised that she thought about Beca's eyes a lot when she was worried – she found that Beca's deep, stormy gaze calmed her. Chloe forgot about the blood pooling on the floor, she forgot about the coughs that ripped through her body and the fever that sucked the strength from her limbs – all she could think, feel, see: was Beca.

Chloe slipped from the grasp of consciousness, hoping with all of the strength she had left that she would be able to see Beca's beautiful, midnight eyes again.

' **Yes, I know that love is like ghosts,**

 **Oh, and the moonlight baby shows you what's real.**

 **There ain't a language for the things I feel…'**


	8. Wires

**A/N Hey, here's the next chapter, I hope it's okay. Thank you for the reviews, favs and follows – they honestly mean so much to me and really help me keep writing :)**

 **This chapter's song is 'Wires' by Athlete. Enjoy.**

In the same week, Beca experienced the best and the worst nights of her life. As she sat in the hospital, on what was undeniably the worst night of her life, all she could think about was how different things had been at the same time that previous night. This time yesterday, she had been kissing Chloe under the covers, thinking that nothing could ruin their perfect, long-awaited union. Now, just 24 hours later, Beca was sat in the waiting room of the hospital, not even sure if Chloe was going to survive until morning.

Beca had been on the way home from work when she had received a call from Amy; normally Beca would never answer the phone when she was driving, but she noticed how Amy had called her 5 times in the last half-an-hour and so Beca pulled over to the side of the rode and answered.

"Hey Amy, is everything okay?" Beca asked, turning the radio down.

"Are you at the apartment?" Came Amy's voice, she sounded flustered and slightly out of breath.

Beca frowned. "No, why? Is everything okay?"

"You need to come straight to the hospital." Amy said, her voice breaking slightly.

"What? Why?" Beca chocked out, praying with all her might that it didn't have anything to do with a certain redhead.

"Chloe has pneumonia." Amy muttered. "When I came home this evening, I walked into the flat to find Chloe passed out on the floor. She had a cut on her head that was bleeding everywhere and she was hardly breathing. I called an ambulance and the paramedics came and took her to the hospital. I had to clean up the apartment, but then I went straight to the hospital. When I got there, the doctors told me that they had run some tests and found that Chloe has pneumonia. She must have collapsed at home and hit her head when she did. She's had stitches, but now she's in the ICU. I'm not allowed to visit her since I'm not family, but I'm pretty sure they'll let you into the room."

Even now, sat in the hospital, Beca was speechless. All she could think about was how this was all her fault. She should have taken Chloe to the doctors as soon as she noticed Chloe's cough but Beca been too busy thinking about her job, and her trenchant love for the redhead that she'd overlooked it. Chloe was in hospital because of Beca's careless attitude towards her health and Beca would never forgive herself.

Beca sat in the uncomfortable hospital chair for hours, biting her nails and jigging her leg nervously before a nurse finally came up to her and told her what was going on.

"She's stable." The nurse smiled, beckoning for Beca to stand up and leading the brunette through the hospital to Chloe's room. "She's on a lot of medication and painkillers, and she probably won't wake up for at least another day, but she'll be okay. This infection has taken a great toll on her body – she may have to be in hospital for a number of weeks. The pneumonia has affected Chloe worse than it affects most people her age because of her cancer, and the cut on her forehead was also more damaging than it should have been because of her blood's inability to clot. But Chloe is strong, and she will make it through. You're welcome to stay with her for a bit," the nurse said, pointing down the corridor to Chloe's room, "but I suggest that you go home and get a good night's sleep; Chloe won't be awake for a while, and you need to rest as well. Here's her room, press the yellow button by her bed if you need anything." The nurse finished before turning and continuing on with her nursing duties.

Beca took a deep breath, thanking the nurse and turning the handle to Chloe's room, not ready for what she was saw upon entering the room.

Chloe lay unconscious on the bed, with an oxygen mask over her mouth and nose. She had a couple of IVs going into her arms and there was a heart monitor displaying Chloe's weary heartbeat to the right of her bed. Chloe's pale face looked gaunt under the bright hospital lights, and the monotonous beeps of various machines surrounding Chloe made Beca want to be sick. There was a small line of stitches poking out from Chloe's hairline, and a bruise was already forming around the cut. Chloe's shorter, thinner hair was spread out on the pillows supporting her head and Beca could see tubes poking out of Chloe's stomach. Beca had no idea what those tubes where for but they also made her want to throw up. Just seeing Chloe like this – so vulnerable and weak, unconscious in a hospital bed – made Beca want to crawl out of her skin.

Somehow, Beca found the strength to walk across the room and sit in the chair on the other side of Chloe's bed. Beca took Chloe's limp hand in hers and drew small circles on the back of it with her thumb. Silent tears streamed down Beca's face as she tried to take in what was happening; Chloe had leukaemia; Chloe had pneumonia; Chloe was in hospital; it was all Beca's fault.

Beca let the tears stream from her eyes, not bothering to wipe away the mascara that was inevitably running down her cheeks. After an hour of sitting in silence, slowly coming to grips with what had happened, Beca called Aubrey.

Whilst explaining to Aubrey where she was and what was going on, Beca completely broke down. Sobs racked through her body and tears blinded her as she revealed to Aubrey how Chloe was in intensive care, a severe infection attacking her already weak lungs. Beca looked at the unresponsive, motionless form of Chloe as she spoke to Aubrey and utterly fell apart. The blonde tried her best to console the distraught brunette, but nothing she said could offer any comfort. Eventually, Aubrey gave up, she put the phone down and immediately jumped in her car, throwing a few clothes in an overnight bag and driving straight down to the city to be with Beca and Chloe, unable to bare the distance between her and her seriously ill friend.

A nurse came in late in the night, before Aubrey got there, and gave Beca a sympathetic smile as she checked the unconscious Chloe over. The nurse told Beca that it would be best she go home, because there was no chance Chloe was going to wake up for a while and Beca wasn't doing herself any good staying here. Beca completely ignored the nurse, silently vowing that she wasn't leaving Chloe's side until she saw the light shining in the redhead's beautiful crystal eyes again.

When Aubrey finally got to the hospital, it was well past 3 in the morning, and the hospital was eerily quiet. A soft spoken, gentle doctor told Aubrey Chloe's ward and room number and offered her a sad smile as Aubrey thanked her and went to find her friends.

When Aubrey eventually arrived at Chloe's room, her heart broke at what she found inside: Beca was slumped back in a small blue chair, asleep, but still holding's Chloe's hand in her own. Aubrey could hardly bare to looked at Chloe, it hurt too much to see her best friend in such a state. Aubrey was distressed beyond words to see her two friends like this – one passed out in a chair, tear streaks staining her cheeks and the other hooked up to machines and drips, a screen displaying her struggling heartbeat.

The elastic holding the oxygen mask to Chloe's face was twisted around her ears, and so Aubrey leant down and gently straightened out the blue material, her finger's brushing Chloe's smooth cheek as she did so.

Aubrey looked at her two sleeping friends and thought about what Amy had told her over text a couple of hours ago: Beca and Chloe were together. Aubrey and Amy had been texting about how they were worried about Beca and the responsibility she had taken over Chloe - how she was always there to see the redhead go through chemo and there to see Chloe get weaker as the chemicals did little to help her. They were talking about doing more to help Beca when Amy had admitted how she had overheard Beca and Chloe finally, finally confessing their love for each other. The big blonde revealed how Beca had been sleeping in Chloe's bed every night for weeks, and how Amy had been in her room when she had heard Beca storm into the apartment and spill about how she loved Chloe. Amy said how she had never felt more pleased when Chloe revealed that she loved Beca too, and Aubrey had also been over the moon to hear that the angst between Beca and Chloe was over, and that they had finally both admitted their feelings to each other. Aubrey had thought that nothing could dampen her mood after that news until she had gotten that phone call from Beca telling her that Chloe was in hospital.

Looking at Beca and Chloe now, even in their vulnerable states, Aubrey couldn't help but think about her perfect they were for each other. Their hands fitted so snugly together, and even now, Chloe's head was tilted slightly towards Beca. The chair the brunette was sat in was drawn up as close as it could be to Chloe's bed, as if Beca had to be as close to Chloe as possible.

It broke Aubrey's heart to think that Beca and Chloe might not get the happy ending they deserved; the blonde could hardly bare to imagine what it would do to Beca if Chloe didn't make it through this illness.

Aubrey took a seat on a small sofa that was tucked into the corner of Chloe's room and watched the sleeping couple until she began to drift off herself. As Aubrey fell asleep, all could think about was how Beca and Chloe were the least deserving people of the potentially tragic fate that had been laid out before them.

' **You got wires, going in; you got wires, coming out of your skin.**

 **You got tears, making tracks; I got tears, that are scared of the facts…'**


	9. Soon Goodbye, Now Love

**A/N: Here's the next chapter, hope you enjoy :)**

 **This chapter's song is 'Soon Goodbye, Now Love' by Tom Rosenthal.**

Beca awoke to the startling realisation that her boss was waiting to hear a reply regarding the proposition he had posed to Beca the day before. Beca was expected to leave Chloe in the hospital whilst she jetted off to New York for 3 weeks with her boss – or else she would lose her job. Beca looked around the room, wanting to think about anything but the proposition laid before her. She looked to the corner of the room and saw Aubrey asleep on a small blue sofa, a bag of clothes knocked over by her feet. Beca sighed, standing up and sorting out Aubrey's bag for her, grateful that the blonde was here. Needing to talk to someone about her dilemma, Beca shook Aubrey gently awake and sat beside her on the sofa.

"What do I do?" Beca began before she explained to Aubrey her problem. Beca told her all about how her managers where annoyed about how much time she had been taking off to look after Chloe and how she felt bad that all her unfinished work was being passed onto her assistant. Beca told Aubrey about how she loved her job – it was exactly what she wanted to be doing – but how there was no fun in making music when all she could think about was Chloe. Finally, Beca explained how her boss had offered her a deal, either she go to New York for 3 weeks to work on a big project with him and the rest of the producing team, or she quit her job.

Aubrey took a moment before replying, factoring in everything Beca had told her before giving her opinion on the matter.

"Honestly Beca, I think it's a no brainer: you should go to New York." Aubrey said, "You love your job – you said it yourself – you can't give that up, Chloe wouldn't want you to. I'll take time off work whilst you're away to look after Chloe so don't worry about her. And besides, it will give you a chance to have some time away from everything that's going on with; I know that you only want to be there for her, but Beca, you have to think about yourself – her cancer is taking a toll on you as well. This will be good for you, it will offer a distraction and think about it Beca: you're being offered a trip to New York to work on a big music project – you may never get an opportunity like this again. Let yourself have some fun and don't let Chloe hold you back because we both know that it's the last thing she would want to do to you." Aubrey finished, taking Beca's hand and smiling supportively.

Beca nodded slowly when Aubrey had finished, thinking about everything Aubrey had said.

"I'll ring my boss now." Beca muttered, still not sure whether she was making the right decision as she dialled his number and waited for him to pick up.

"Beca?" came her boss' deep voice.

"Hi, Daniel." Beca answered quietly, looking anywhere but Chloe's unconscious form as she spoke to her boss. "I… I've made a decision regarding the trip to New York: I'm coming – the trip sounds great."

"That's brilliant news, Beca. Our flight for The Big Apple leaves tomorrow evening, I'll get my PA to send you the details now." He replied, before bidding Beca farewell and hanging up. Beca immediately felt her phone vibrate with the texts from Daniel's assistant listing the details of the trip, but she didn't bother to look at them because she couldn't take her eyes off Chloe.

Aubrey didn't say anything as Beca went and sat back in the chair at Chloe's bedside. Beca took Chloe's hand that didn't have an IV in and rested her head on her free hand. Aubrey and Beca sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes, listening to the monotonous, steady beep of the machine monitoring Chloe's heartbeat.

"Do you want me to go home and pack for you?" Aubrey offered after a while, knowing that Beca wouldn't want to leave Chloe's side in case the redhead woke up whilst she was gone.

"Yes please." Beca replied, so grateful for the blonde's continued help and support. "Don't worry about packing any of my music equipment, but anything else would help so much." Beca said, standing and giving Aubrey a hug. Despite how much Aubrey and Beca had butted heads in college, Beca now considered Aubrey one of her best friends – she didn't know what she would do without her. Aubrey squeezed Chloe's hand gently, hoping the redhead would wake up soon, before she left the hospital to go and sort out Beca's stuff.

Beca didn't leave Chloe's side for hours. She just sat in her chair, making simple music mixes with an app she had on her phone and never letting go of Chloe's hand. A nurse came into the room at noon to check on Chloe, and offered to get Beca some food. Beca wasn't really hungry, but she knew she should eat. She felt bad making a nurse, who had so many important jobs to do, get her a sandwich so at long last she left Chloe's side and wandered slowly to the hospital café.

Beca quite enjoyed her walk around the hospital. She grabbed a surprisingly nice toastie from the café in the hospital and read a newspaper as she ate her lunch. Despite herself, Beca was actually looking forward to the trip to New York the next evening. She knew that she would miss Chloe more than words could describe, and she would spend every minute of every day worrying about her, but Beca's dream had always been to go to big cities like LA or New York to make and produce music, and Aubrey was right in saying that Chloe wouldn't want to be the person to hold Beca back from living her dreams. Beca walked at a leisurely pace back to Chloe's room after her lunch, not really in any rush to see Chloe unconscious and relying on masses of antibiotics to keep her lungs working. When Beca made it back to Chloe's room she simply walked across the room and sat right back in the chair she'd been sitting in before, resuming the mix she had been halfway through.

Although Beca had moved onto producing, and even recording music, she still enjoying making mixes. It reminded her of her college days, when she would make sets for the Bellas and how she would spend hours making a mix to show Chloe, knowing the redhead loved hearing everything Beca made, especially the mixes that included her 'lady jam'. Beca was about to start on another mix when she noticed Chloe stirring.

Chloe coughed quietly, steaming up the oxygen mask covering her mouth and nose, and furrowed her eyebrows. The heart monitor stuttered a bit as Chloe woke up, but resumed its normal rhythm when Chloe opened her eyes sleepily and looked over at Beca with a smile.

Beca carefully lifted the oxygen mask off Chloe's mouth and rested it under Chloe's chin so the redhead could talk.

"Genies are real." Chloe whispered, her voice scratchy and weak.

Beca frowned, not sure if she'd heard Chloe correctly.

"What?"

"Genies are real." Chloe repeated. "When I passed out at home, I wished that I would get to see you again, and I am looking at you now, so genies must be real."

Beca shook her head and laughed in dismay, this was the Chloe she knew: speaking nonsense and believing in fairy tales even in her twenties. Beca squeezed Chloe's hand and smiled when the redhead replied with a feeble squeeze back.

"How are you feeling?" Beca asked, not taking her eyes off Chloe's beautiful face.

"I've been better." Chloe mumbled, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath. The breath caught in Chloe's throat and she broke into a weak fit of coughs. Beca quickly slipped the oxygen mask back over Chloe's mouth and nose, telling Chloe not to talk. Chloe opened her eyes sheepishly and nodded in agreement, trying to hide how much pain she was in from Beca.

Chloe's chest and head hurt like hell, she knew she could probably ask a nurse for more painkillers, but she didn't want to let onto Beca how bad she felt. Instead, Chloe just focused on Beca's concerned eyes, thinking about how cute Beca looked when her eyebrows were furrowed with worry. The bright lights overhead hurt her eyes and sleep threatened to pull her under, but Chloe kept looking deep into Beca's eyes, thanking whatever genie granted her the wish that she would get to see Beca's eyes one more time.

Beca let Chloe fall back asleep for another hour, knowing that she needed the rest and thought about how she would tell Chloe that she had to leave for New York the following evening. When a doctor came in to check on Chloe, the redhead woke up again but was no more talkative then the last time she had been awake. The doctor slipped the oxygen mask off Chloe's face and tucked it under her chin, just Beca had done earlier, before asking Chloe a few questions. He asked her if her vision was impaired, and if she could remember what happened. Chloe was able to give simple answers to both, but faltered when the doctor asked her whether she was in pain. Chloe didn't look at Beca as she admitted to the doctor that yes, she was in a lot of pain and yes, she would like more pain killers. Beca swallowed the lump that formed in her throat as Chloe admitted this and squeezed the redhead's hand gently, wanting to offer any comfort she could. Chloe squeezed gratefully back as the doctor moved the oxygen mask back onto Chloe's face and told her that he would get a nurse in to come and adjust her meds. Beca noticed Chloe struggling to stay awake, and decided that she needed to tell Chloe about her trip to New York now, before the redhead fell asleep again, because Beca didn't know how long it would be till she woke up again.

"Chloe, listen. There's something I need to tell you." Beca said as a kindly nurse fiddled with Chloe's various medications, upping the redhead's already significant dosage of morphine.

Chloe didn't say anything – she didn't have the strength to lift the oxygen mask off her face – she just turned her head towards Beca and listened.

"You know that my boss has been getting annoyed with me because I've been spending so much time off work, and how he's been threatening to fire me? Well yesterday, just before I got the call from Amy telling me what had happened to you, my boss made a deal with me. He told me that he wouldn't fire me, so long as I proved my commitment to my job and accompanied him and a few other people from the studio on a trip to New York. I spoke to Aubrey about it, and we both think it would be best if I went – I can't afford to lose my job, and this is one of the best opportunities I've ever been offered, I can't pass it up. I'll be gone for 3 weeks, and Aubrey's taking that time off work to come and look after you; but Chloe, say the words, and I won't go. I don't want to leave you in this state, and if you want me to stay, then I will." Beca finished, her elbows leaning against Chloe's bed and her eyes looking right into Chloe's.

Chloe's eyebrows furrowed with effort as she tried to lift her hand to move the oxygen mask from her face, but she was too weak. Beca noticed, and so moved it for the redhead, nervous about what Chloe was going to say.

"Of course you have to go, Beca." Chloe mumbled, "You'll have a great time, and I'll be fine; please don't feel guilty about leaving me."

Beca nodded. "Okay, but let's talk on the phone every day – I don't think I'll be able to stay in New York for 3 weeks if I can't hear your voice each day."

"I love you." Chloe smiled as she drifted back to sleep, the strong painkillers already taking effect and pulling her under.

"I love you too." Beca replied, slipping the oxygen mask over Chloe's mouth and nose, feeling more resolved than she had in a while.

Chloe was okay – she had woken up, she had talked and she had laughed. Beca was going to New York – she was excited, she was nervous and she was worried, but she was certain that this was what she wanted, and Chloe supported her decision. Beca smiled, taking Chloe's soft, warm hand and kissing it gently as sun streamed through the window across the room and lit up Chloe's beautiful face.

' **Soon goodbye but now love.**

 **Draw the oceans, make a wave,**

 **I know nothing more than you…'**


	10. Go Solo

**A/N Chapter 10! Hope you enjoy :)**

 **This chapter's song is 'Go Solo' by Tom Rosenthal.**

Beca never got a chance to say goodbye to Chloe before she left for New York. Chloe fell asleep after having a few tests run to see how she was doing, and didn't wake up until the next day, by which time Beca had already left for the airport.

Chloe was devastated – she became annoyed at how weak she was, wishing she'd had the energy to talk to Beca one more time before she left. Aubrey tried to convince Chloe that it wasn't her fault, that she couldn't help it, but that only made things worse.

The morning after Beca had left Chloe still wasn't allowed to take the oxygen mask off her face, which was a relatively small problem but Chloe became so frustrated with being in hospital and being hooked up to so many machines that she tried to rip out some of the tubes going into her stomach.

Aubrey was awoken from her light sleep when Chloe's monitors started beeping noisily and more rapidly. Aubrey jumped up to find Chloe, semi-conscious, holding her hand against her side; Chloe's oxygen mask hung round her chin, as if the redhead had yet again tried to take it off. Aubrey gently prized Chloe's hand away from her stomach to find Chloe's tubes hanging half-out and blood trickling down her side and soaking the bedsheets. Aubrey could see that Chloe was losing consciousness, and so pressed the emergency button for the nurse, assuming that Chloe's beeping machines hadn't caught the attention of any of the hospital staff members.

A couple of nurses and a doctor rushed in, pushing Aubrey to the side and blocking Chloe from view. One of the nurses asked Aubrey to leave the room, and though reluctant, Aubrey obliged, not wanting to get in the way of the doctors.

Aubrey sat on the row of chairs outside Chloe room in the ICU and took the opportunity to call Chloe's brother, Sammy. Aubrey had been keeping in contact with Chloe's family through Sammy on Chloe's request. Unfortunately, Chloe's family lived Canada after Chloe's dad had got a job there, and hadn't yet had the chance to come down and visit the sick redhead, but they frequently facetimed and Sammy texted Aubrey every day to get updates on Chloe's condition. Aubrey was well acquainted with Sammy – in high school, when Aubrey would go back to Chloe's after school when the family still lived in the states, Sammy would often be friendly; he had the same boundless joy as his sister

"Hey Aubrey, what's up?" Came Sammy's voice after a couple of rings.

"Nothing really, I just thought I'd let you know how Chloe was." Aubrey said, feeling guilty for not having told him about Chloe's pneumonia yet.

"Oh yeah? Is everything okay?"

"Well, I should have told you a couple of days ago, but Chloe developed pneumonia; she's in the ICU. She's stable and everything, its not really her physical health I'm updating you on." Aubrey said, Sammy listened, not saying much as Aubrey explained what she meant. "Basically Beca, you know Beca?"

Sam mumbled a yes in reply.

"Yeah well Beca has had to go to New York for 3 weeks. Obviously it's normal a friend going away for a while but me and a friend think Beca and Chloe are more than friends. And Beca going away is really affecting Chloe. Chloe never got to say goodbye to Beca, because she was unconscious for ages, and that's really frustrating her. Chloe's been pushing herself to hard to get better and it's just causing set back after set back. The doctors where hoping to move her out the ICU today but she ripped her tubes out so she's probably going to need a small surgery to fix that and they ran some tests on her while she was asleep… her cancer's not getting any better. She's had months of chemo, but it's not making a difference, Sam." Aubrey's voice broke and tears started streaming down her cheeks. "I can see Chloe trying to hide her pain for me and Beca, but I worry that this cancer will beat her. She's fighting, I can see she is, but I can also see a part of her that thinks it might be easier to give up. Beca is really her only motive to keep fighting, and I just feel so powerless. It's terrifying seeing her like this – weak and tired in a hospital bed with barely the strength to even move her arms. She's not the Chloe I know – she's trying to be the Chloe I know, she tries to be happy and bubbly as she normally is, but's it not the same."

Sammy let Aubrey vent to him, knowing how hard it was for the blonde. She often called him in this state, tired and in tears, needing to vent and cry after spending hours trying to look put together and in control. Sammy knew that Aubrey was trying to stay strong for Chloe, but it resulted in this: Aubrey becoming utterly overwhelmed and worried and needing someone to cry to. Sammy was happy to be this person, it made him feel useful. He felt awful, staying in Canada to study whilst Chloe and her friends were dealing with this, but he had his finals soon and his and Chloe's parents had a lot going on at work – none of them were able to go down and help.

Sammy tried his best to console Aubrey, he'd become an expert at it recently. He didn't tell her that it was going to be okay, that everything would work out – instead he assured her that it wasn't over yet, that Chloe still had so much to give and that she would keep fighting – they all would.

Eventually, Aubrey got a hold of herself and wiped away the tears sliding down her face. She thanked Sammy for being there and told him that she would call him and update him on anything regarding Chloe's health. Sammy thanked Aubrey and reminded her that he was always here to talk if she needed him. Eventually they bid their goodbyes and hung up, both taking deep, resolved sighs as they but the phone down. By the time Aubrey finished on the phone, the doctors had taken Chloe from her room to have her tubes put back in and so Aubrey decided to go back to Chloe's apartment for a bit to shower and actually cook herself a meal.

Fat Amy was home when she got there, and Aubrey found herself thankful that the big blonde was there, not sure how she would cope with being alone in the flat with Chloe's medication scattered everywhere and some of Beca's music equipment discarded around the house.

"They're perfect for each other, aren't they?" Amy said as the two blondes sat on the sofa eating pasta. Aubrey nodded, smiling at the reminder that Chloe and Beca had finally got together after all the time they'd spent secretly pining for each other.

"Mmm, although sometimes I wish they would get a room. They still haven't told me their together, but they do such a bad job of hiding it – at the hospital all they seem to do is gaze into each other's eyes."

"I guess I was wrong when I said Cynthia Rose was the only gay Bella." Amy joked. Aubrey laughed, feeling lighter than she had in a while. She wanted to be with Chloe, but spending so much time in the hospital wasn't doing Aubrey any good and so it was nice to spend a bit of time away from it with someone like Amy, who never failed to make her laugh.

When Beca finally got to her hotel room after travelling to New York and then getting a taxi through the city, she was beyond tired but she knew she wouldn't be able to sleep without talking to Chloe.

She grabbed her phone from one of her bags in the corner of the room and plopped herself down on the big king-sized bed in the middle of the room.

Chloe didn't answer the first time Beca called, but Beca rang back immediately and eventually Chloe picked up.

Chloe was still in hospital – Beca could hear the machines beeping in the background, and she was still in the ICU because there where no other patients or people around because Beca couldn't hear them. Chloe was the first to speak and Beca nearly chocked when she heard her voice, not realising how much she had missed the sweet ring of it till now.

Beca didn't really know how it happened – she and Chloe had been talking about Beca's journey and first experience in first class – when suddenly their conversation became more heated.

"I just want this to be over." Chloe stated sadly, her voice tight with emotion. Anger roiled in Beca's gut at the weakness of Chloe's words.

"You're not giving up." Beca stated more than asked, her words stiff as she tried to conceal her anger at Chloe's defeated attitude.

"No, I just can't be bothered, Beca. This whole thing – cancer, hospital, now pneumonia – I don't know how much more I can take," Chloe said, clearly not sensing how disappointed Beca was that Chloe seemed to be giving up.

"You don't think you're the only person that's suffering as a result of this whole ordeal?" Beca asked, not now able to hide her anger as words spilled out of her mouth in a torrent of rage and disappointment. "Every day, Chloe, I have to watch you struggle. I try and help you, but you never accept that you need help, and now your talking like you're giving up. I nearly lost my job Chloe. I nearly had a heart attack when I found out you'd collapsed at home and I have a constant head ache because of how much I worry about you. I'm fighting for you, I'm suffering for you but all you can do in return is give up? How is that fair, Chloe?"

Chloe didn't know what to say. She was taken aback and hurt by Beca's words and anger started building in her own words as she eventually said.

"I'm not giving up Beca, I assure you." She said, almost sarcastically. "But I think, as a cancer patient, I'm maybe entitled to a few tired, defeated words every now and then. Sorry if I can't be as positive as you want me to be all the time and sorry that I'm causing you a 'constant headache', it definitely wasn't my intention. I get that you're suffering Beca, I really wish you didn't have to see me like this or get mixed up in this whole ordeal but since you are mixed up in it, I can only ask that you don't guilt trip me and preach about how much _you're_ suffering." Chloe cried, her angry words causing her to cough weakly.

Beca ignored the coughs – not able to her exasperated words. "I just want to help you, Chloe! But every time I try help you tell me not to treat you like a sick person, or you tell me that you're fine and now you're telling me that you're suffering, what am I supposed to do?"

"Beca, I can't talk about this now. We should call tomorrow when we're both more level headed. Just… in the future, please remind yourself that you're not the one dealing with cancer, I am. I don't know how to feel, I don't know how to act and I can usually talk to you about it but clearly you don't want to hear about it now so… I'll call you tomorrow." And with that, Chloe hung up.

Beca didn't sleep that night, she just kept going over her and Chloes' fight in her head, thinking about the things she wished she hadn't said, and the things she wished Chloe hadn't said.

When Beca got up the next morning, she immediately checked her phone, hoping there would be a messed call or text from Chloe, but there was nothing.

Beca spent the entire first day of her big trip in New York wishing she could be back in Atlanta with Chloe. Beca just wanted to apologise to Chloe, and hold her tight so that the redhead would tell her everything was going to be okay. Because at that moment, Beca really wasn't sure whether _anything_ was going to be okay.

' **They say it's a matter of time,**

 **A thousand days and the sun won't shine,**

 **Before I come back to you…'**


	11. For You To Be Here

**A/N: Hey, so here's the next chapter, sorry that it's a bit boring but I kind of just needed this chapter to resolve everything and patch things up. Please review, fav and follow – it means so much :)**

 **I don't own Pitch Perfect, sadly.**

 **This chapter's song is 'For You To Be Here' by… Tom Rosenthal, what a surprise.**

Chloe and Beca didn't speak for ages. Aubrey kept telling Chloe that she should phone Beca, but the redhead always refused, saying that she wasn't in the mood. Beca wanted to call Chloe, every morning and every evening Beca would pull out her phone, ready to call Chloe, but something would stop her every time.

Beca was miserable for the first week of her trip. She was getting updates on Chloe's condition from Aubrey; so far Beca had found out that Chloe was out of the ICU, that she'd had another chemo sessions and that she was due to be discharged in the next couple of days. Beca wanted to be happy for Chloe – all the redhead had wanted since being admitted to hospital was to get out – but hearing the news through Aubrey because Chloe refused to call her took some of the joy away.

Beca's boss noticed how down the brunette was, but he just put it down to her missing Chloe. He tried to make sure she always had something to do during the day and encouraged the other people on the trip to make an effort with Beca. Beca's boss even went as far as asking if she was okay, or if there was anything he could do to help. Beca, being Beca, of course just mumbled that everything was fine. He knew otherwise, but decided not to push the brunette, familiar with her closed-off demeanour.

Back in Atlanta, Chloe was just as miserable. She was much better health wise – she was able to breath without an oxygen mask or cannula, and she was able to get up and walk around if she wanted to, but it felt wrong not having Beca there to see her progress. Aubrey was being really supportive and kind, but she wasn't Beca, no-one could ever take the place of Beca. Chloe was tempted to call the brunette every day, but she didn't know what she wanted to say. Aubrey was constantly pushing Chloe to make up with Beca, saying that the pairs stubbornness was causing them more trouble than its worth. Chloe always ignored to blonde.

On Chloe's last night in hospital, she lay awake on her bed, staring at her phone. It was late – most people were asleep and Aubrey was at the flat. Doctors and nurses wandered by quietly, talked in a hushed tone between themselves. All Chloe wanted in that moment was to talk to Beca, but as always, she was at a loss as to what to say to the brunette. Did she apologise? Chloe was still trying to work out who had been wrong in the fight they'd had, and she wasn't even sure if she was expecting Beca to apologise to her. Chloe was about to try and get to sleep when her phone started ringing, she answered it quickly so it wouldn't wake anyone up, not even looking at the caller ID.

"Hello?" She said, wondering who would be calling her this late.

"Chloe…?" came Beca's voice, careful and uncertain.

"Beca." Was Chloe's only reply. After a week of refusing to speak to each other, they had finally broken their silence, and neither one of them knew what to say. There was a momentary pause before they both blurted out;

"I'm so sorry."

They both drank up the sounds of the other person's voice, not realising how much they had missed each other until this moment.

"I'm so sorry." Beca repeated. "I'm sorry for what I said, and I'm sorry I didn't call earlier. I just… I've missed hearing you're voice so much, Chloe."

"I've you too, Beca. And I'm sorry too – I know that I sometimes forget that I'm not the only one going through a tough time, and I guess we just need to remember to be there for each other, because we're all suffering."

Beca nodded, forgetting that Chloe wouldn't be able to hear her. A tear slipped down Beca's face as her and Chloe caught up on the week they had spent apart, and Beca felt the tension in her shoulders and the ache behind her eyes fade as Chloe's voice lulled her into a sense of security. Chloe's voice reminded her of home, it reminded her of everything she had and everything she was working for. Beca felt her love for music returning, and she knew that she would be able to properly start enjoying her time in New York. Beca loved how Chloe did that to her – she broke Beca out of her 'bad-ass' shell and almost forced her to appreciate what she had in life. Sure, Beca was still closed off with her co-workers and was viewed as moody and distant by other music producers, but she was definitely more talkative and open to friendships thanks to the influence of Chloe.

"Don't hang up…" Chloe whispered as the two decided they should probably stop talking – it was well into the early hours of the morning and they both had big days ahead.

"Okay." Beca smiled, laying her phone on her pillow and listening to Chloe's breathing. It wasn't long until Chloe's breaths became steady and deep, letting Beca know that the redhead had fallen asleep.

"I love you Chloe." Beca whispered one more time, before closing her eyes and letting the steady rhythm of Chloe's breathing lull her to sleep.

"Welcome home." Aubrey smiled as she opened the front door, revealing an immaculate flat and a small present wrapped up and placed on the kitchen counter. Chloe walked over to it nervously, having been unaware Aubrey had got her a present.

"You bought me something?" Chloe asked, setting her bag down and carefully picking up the present.

"Nope, Beca did." Aubrey explained. "Well, she didn't buy it, she made it and then sent it to me to put on a CD. It's a mix, I think, although she never actually told me."

Chloe looked at the CD with curiosity. It was simply a plain silver disk, no writing or label on it at all.

"Do we even have a CD player?" Chloe asked, eager to listen to the CD as soon as possible.

"I don't think so, but you can probably listen to it on your laptop." Aubrey suggested. "I'll make you some lunch whilst you listen to it."

"I'm not hungry." Chloe mumbled, already halfway to her bedroom to find her laptop.

"I don't care, you have to eat something, Chlo. The doctor said that you have to take your new medication with food, and you need to keep your strength up."

Chloe sighed, ignoring Aubrey and continuing into her bedroom. This was the only room that Aubrey hadn't touched during her mass cleanse of the house – the bedsheets were still messy from the last time Beca and Chloe had slept in there and some of Beca's clothes were still discarded on the floor. The curtains where only partially drawn and the room was kind of stuffy, but it was a good kind of stuffy; The room smelt of Beca, and Beca was all Chloe wanted to think about now. Shutting the door behind her, Chloe advanced into the room and grabbed her laptop from where it had been charging. As soon as it turned on, Chloe shoved the CD into the player and pressed play. Chloe wasn't ready for what she heard when she pressed play.

Beca had written a song for Chloe, and it touched Chloe more than any gift she had ever been given before. The base chords of the song where ones the redhead herself had worked out when she and Beca had been messing around on the piano, but Beca had constructed the most heart-breaking melody to accompany them. Playing quietly over the soft piano part was Beca's gentle voice, calmer and more soulful than Chloe had ever heard it before. The lyrics spoke about struggles, and devastation, but they also sang of hope and love – and Chloe could tell they came from the heart.

The song reduced Chloe to tears, it was the most precious thing in the world. She listened to it over and over until she knew the lyrics off by heart and then sang along quietly to it, mesmerised by the conflicting emotions the song portrayed.

Aubrey called Chloe in for some lunch, and decided not to say anything when she noticed how the redhead had been crying – she knew that what Beca had made for Chloe was special and so knew that the tears had been brought on by the gift.

That night, Aubrey slept in Beca's room, as she always did when she stayed at Chloe, Beca and Amys'. Beca hadn't actually slept in that bad for months – she always slept with Chloe. Amy was out of town for a few days for a Fat Amy Winehouse gig, and so the flat fell eerily quiet when Aubrey and Chloe went to sleep.

Chloe couldn't get to sleep – she had spoken to Beca earlier that evening to thank her for the song, but she still missed the moody brunette more than words could describe; especially as she lay alone in their bed, Beca's comforting scent crowding her senses. After a while of trying to get to sleep without any luck, Chloe called Beca. The pair spoke for a while before Chloe fell asleep, the gentle sound of her breathing relaxing Beca. It took Beca a while longer to get to sleep, as it always did, because all she could think about was how much she wished she could hold Chloe right now. She just wanted to snuggle up with the redhead, like they always did at home and tell Chloe over and over how much she loved her. Yes, it was soppy, and _so_ not Beca's style but Beca missed the smell, the feel, the touch of Chloe so much. She finally fell asleep, her own breaths falling into the same steady rhythms as Chloe's. The pair slept, their breaths comforting and reassuring each other even as they were miles apart.

' **It's been a little while since I've held your hands, oh my arms won't stretch to your distant land.**

 **Give me every person in the whole wide world, and I'll pick you out in a second, girl.**

 **I am ready, I am ready, for you to be here.'**


	12. This Is What I Sound Like

**A/N: Hey, sorry I haven't uploaded in a couple of days, I was staying at a friend's house and never got the opportunity to write. I hope you're enjoying the story so far, any suggestions or comments are welcomed so please feel free to review and stuff :)**

 **This chapter's song is 'This Is What I Sound Like' by Athlete.**

Aubrey checked the clock once again, biting her nails and jigging her leg restlessly. Chloe had been out on a walk for over an hour now, and Aubrey couldn't help but worry. She knew that Chloe wanted her freedom, and that she couldn't have spent one more minute cooped up in her flat, but Aubrey just wished that the redhead had let Aubrey go with her. Chloe was still weak from the chemo sessions she'd had while in hospital, and she was unsteady on her feet – Aubrey worried she would fall into the road or something.

Aubrey checked the clock again, even though it had only moved on two minutes since the last time she had checked it and sighed, she didn't want to undermine Chloe by going out to look for her but Aubrey couldn't stand the sense of uncertainty she felt about Chloe's whereabouts.

Aubrey left it 15 more minutes before she started putting her shoes on to go and find Chloe, not able to bear it any longer. She was about to leave when she noticed Chloe climbing the stairs up to their flat. Chloe frowned at Aubrey,

"Where are you going?" she asked, bending down to untie her shoes and biting her lip against the aches in her body.

"Err, well I was going out to find you." Aubrey admitted, not meeting Chloe's eyes. The redhead's frown deepened.

"Why? I said I'd be gone 2 hours, and it's only been 1 and a half."

"I was just worried, Chlo."

"Why?" Chloe asked again, her eyes daring Aubrey to give her reason.

"Well, you have… cancer, Chlo. I can't help but worry when I don't know where you are or whether you're okay." Aubrey explained.

Chloe shook her head.

"I'm capable of leaving the flat for two hours without dropping down dead, Aubrey. You don't have to treat me like some kind of baby all the time." Chloe said, shoving past Aubrey with the little strength she could muster and storming into the flat. Her anger and frustration had been building up over the past couple of days; she couldn't do anything independently – Aubrey always had to be there checking she was okay; every time she coughed, even to just clear her throat, Aubrey leapt up to check her temperature and give her some cough syrup and every conversation she had with the blonde seemed to revolve around Chloe's sickness – there was no escape. Chloe just wanted Aubrey to treat her like a normal person, not like someone who had cancer, but Aubrey just fussed around Chloe so much and it was driving the redhead mad.

"Chloe, I understand that you wanted to get away from the flat, I know that's why you went for a walk, but I don't understand why you wouldn't let me go with you," Aubrey said "You could've gone on a 4 hour long walk for all I cared if you'd just let me come with you. I want to be there to look after you, I can't let anything happen to you Chloe."

"I didn't let you come on a walk with me because you're the person I wanted to get away from." Chloe blurted, fatigue clouding her judgement and sending words flying out her mouth. Chloe didn't dare look at Aubrey as she carried on raging; "All I am to you is cancer. You don't even talk to me like you used to anymore – I can't stand being with you when all you can focus on is my sickness. I just want to forget about it Aubrey, but when I'm with you it's all I can think about because its all that you see in me." Chloe chocked, tears threatening to fall.

Aubrey didn't reply for a moment. She let Chloe's words sink in, the redhead's words flying round her head in a tornado of confusion and anger.

"Chloe, your sickness isn't all I see in you, but when I come in from the shops and find you being sick in the toilet or asleep and pale as a sheet on the sofa, it's difficult to keep it from the forefront of my mind." Aubrey finally replied, stepping into the flat and shutting the door behind her with a bang. Chloe flinched at the sound but replied with answering fury.

"I'm asking you to look past that, Aubrey! I don't deny that I look sick – I wake up every morning with a new bruise on my arm or more hair on my pillow and all I want is to walk out my bedroom to spend a normal day with my normal friend who will treat me like a normal person. I just want to live a normal life, Aubrey. I don't want to be ruled by my cancer."

There was a moment of complete silence before Aubrey turned her back to Chloe and walked back out the door.

"I'm going for a walk." Aubrey said, stepping out the flat and shutting it with just enough force to startle Chloe. Aubrey had no idea where she was going to walk but she knew that she needed to get out of the flat and away from Chloe. Aubrey guessed that this was how Chloe had felt when she had left that morning and it only made her feel more angry. Aubrey made it out of the apartment building and onto the street where she just walked forwards and didn't look back.

Beca's trip was drawing to a close, and the brunette wasn't sure how she felt about it. She had to admit that she felt a lot lighter having spent some time away from cancer and hospitals, but she deeply missed Chloe, and lying in bed with her every night. Beca had created some great music in New York, she had worked with some great artists, and her boss was already planning another trip to the same studio in a couple of months. Beca said she was up for it, and was even looking forward to going back to the studio in Atlanta and putting some of the tricks she had learned in New York to use. Beca had even created a proper produced version of the song she had written for Chloe whilst in the city. She had kept it simple, with the piano as the main instrument, but she'd added in some vocal harmonies in the background and Beca had to admit that using the amazing mic in the recording room made her voice sound great. Beca hadn't shown the song to anyone – it seemed weird to hand such an intimate song around to her bosses – but she knew that it was good, that it would do well in the charts if it were sung by the right artist.

Back in her hotel room that night, Beca pulled out her phone for her daily call with Chloe. She only had a couple of night left in New York, and wanted to spend them with the artists she'd been working with since they had asked if she wanted to go to a party with them. Beca was planning on having a quick conversation with Chloe before getting ready to go out with everyone. Her co-worker Jason had offered to pick her up at 10 to go to the club where everyone working on the project was going, so Beca only had an hour before she had to go. Beca tried phoning Chloe, but the redhead didn't pick up. Beca tried again, but it just rang and rang before going to voicemail. Beca called a few more times before assuming that Chloe had fallen asleep. Beca left a message explaining that she was going out in case the redhead woke up before getting ready for the party.

At 10, Jason came to the door as planned to pick Beca up. Beca took her phone off charge, ready to bring it with her just in case Chloe called, but Jason just shook his head.

"This club's weird," he explained, "they don't let you take phones in. They make you chuck them in a bucket where they either get broken or stolen, I'd just leave my phone here if I were you."

Beca frowned, reluctant to go to the club without some way to contact Chloe. She debated concocting some way of hiding it in her bag but figured it wasn't worth holding everyone up or getting into trouble.

After putting her phone back in her room and switching the lights off, Beca followed Jason down to the hotel lobby where a few others going to the club were waiting. She got a few compliments on her dress which she and Chloe had picked out together, and threw a few compliments around to other people, though Beca couldn't help but think how no-one compared to the beauty of Chloe.

Eventually, everyone piled into a convoy of taxis waiting outside the hotel, and Beca felt herself letting go and getting carried away by the carelessness and high spirits of everyone else in the group. She found that she completely forgot about what was going on back in Atlanta and her mind became filled with folly thoughts, especially when she started taking shots with everyone else.

Beca consumed more alcohol than she had in a long time, finding herself being swept away by the atmosphere of New York and the talented musicians she had as company. Beca partied with everyone all night, not once thinking about Chloe or cancer or anything remotely related to that topic.

Beca was so drunk that when she finally got back to the hotel after the party and that when she checked her phone, she didn't notice the panicked texts and phone calls from Aubrey alerting her that Chloe was missing.

' **Do you know what we're fighting for? Well, let's fight, let us fight'**

 **Do you know what we're asking for? 'Cause I don't sometimes.**

 **I just want to kick off at something, go to town and then make a scene;**

 **We're not sure what we're fighting for, but we'll fight…'**


	13. A Thousand Years

**A/N: Hey, so I'm going to apologise for the inevitable number of typos in this chapter and probably the next few to come because I broke two fingers at a volleyball game at the weekend and so it's kind of hard to type. Thanks for reading, please review fav and follow :)**

 **This chapter's song is 'A Thousand Years' by Tom Rosenthal.**

"Missing?" Beca grumbled, still grotty and hung over from the night before.

"I've phoned all the Bellas, they haven't heard anything from her; I've called her brother, he's heard nothing… I can't think where she could be!" Aubrey cried, blaming herself entirely for this whole ordeal.

Aubrey had stormed out the night before after her argument with Chloe, and when she had returned an hour later to apologise, Chloe hadn't been in the flat. Chloe's car was still in the parking lot, there was no note indicating where she might be – Aubrey was beside herself. She had tried to phone Beca over and over, hoping the brunette would have some insight on the whereabouts of Chloe but Beca had been out partying. Alone all night, Aubrey's guilt and worry had simply ballooned and by morning, she was ready to send out an FBI search party.

Aubrey alerted the police that Chloe was gone that morning, but the issue clearly wasn't their priority and they just mumbled that they would call Aubrey if they heard anything.

"I'm such an idiot," Beca sighed, still on the phone to Aubrey, "if I hadn't been off my face last night I might have been able to help, I'm so sorry Aubrey."

"What are we going to do? Chloe didn't take her phone so we can't track her and no-one's seen her, she could be anywhere…" Aubrey despaired.

"Have you tried calling the hospital?" Beca asked, biting her nails and trying to offer any solution to the problem they were no faced with.

"Yeah that was one of the first places I tried, she's not been admitted to that hospital or any others in the area."

Beca shook her head and sighed, her heart pounding with worry. Chloe was out there somewhere, sick and with no-one around to help her if anything went wrong. Aubrey had looked in all the places Chloe would usually go if she was stressed or worried, but there had been no sign of her. Beca was at a complete loss of what to do.

Beca only realised how long she had been on the phone to Aubrey for when her boss came knocking at her hotel room door.

"Beca? Are you in there?" he called from the other side.

"Yes, sorry Daniel. I'll be there in a moment." Beca groaned, pinching between her nose and bidding a reluctant farewell to Aubrey.

Beca couldn't concentrate at work. It was one of the most important days of the project – the day when all the aspiring and hopeful artists would record their songs. Her boss and colleagues kept asking for her opinion on the music – all valuing her input – but Beca was barely able to give more than one-word answers. She kept checking her phone for updates from Aubrey and nearly lost her mind when she was told she wasn't allowed to have it in the recording studio because of the possible interference it would cause with the mics.

Her boss was constantly asking if she was okay or whether she needed a time out, but Beca never told him what was going on. She didn't want to be that person who always moaned about her problems and she didn't really want to talk about what was going on. Spending so much time away from Chloe had caused Beca to build back up all the walls around herself that meant she rarely spoke to others. She kept to herself and her demeanour was placid and unperturbed, despite the ocean of woe and stress that was thrashing inside her head.

Aubrey's day was just as bad as Beca's, only she didn't have work to distract herself. Aubrey had taken 4 weeks leave from work for 'personal' reasons so that she could look after Chloe whilst Beca had gone but so far Aubrey had sat with Chloe in hospital for two weeks before fighting with her and then driving her out the flat. Aubrey could only think about the worse case scenario. There was no hope in her mind as she thought about the prospect of never seeing her best friend again.

Aubrey thought about all the times Chloe had been there for her: when she had thrown up at Lincoln centre, when she had graduated, when she had bought 'The Lodge of Fallen Leaves' and started her business… Chloe was one of the best things that had ever happened to the blonde, but all Aubrey could think about was how badly she had let Chloe down.

At a time when Chloe had been feeling vulnerable and conflicted, Aubrey had stormed out the flat in a strop, as if her situation had been more difficult than Chloe's. Aubrey would never forget the moment she had returned to the flat and realised Chloe wasn't there. She wouldn't forget the feeling of her heart growing heavier and heavier with each unsuccessful phone call regarding Chloe's whereabouts.

Aubrey spent the entire day phoning and texting various people, hoping for the smallest bit of insight on Chloe's whereabouts to no avail.

Aubrey sat on her temporary bed in Beca's room late that night, praying to anyone that would listen that Chloe was okay when she heard the front door creak quietly open from across the flat.

Aubrey leapt up from where she sat and raced into the front room, her heart swelling with a mixture of emotions when her eyes fell upon the person who had entered the flat.

Chloe. She looked pale, feverish and tired; her face was streaked with tears and her thinning, short hair was windswept; she shivered where she stood and didn't meet Aubrey's eyes but she was here, and she was alive.

"Oh Chloe…" Aubrey breathed as Chloe sank to the floor and Aubrey wrapped her arms around the redhead's trembling form.

The pair stayed like this for what could have been minutes, hours, days – it didn't matter – they were simply breathing in the reassurance of each other's presence. Eventually, Chloe mustered enough strength to stand and drag herself to the sofa where she turned to face Aubrey.

"What happened? Where have you been?" Aubrey asked gently, taking Chloe's ice-cold hands in her own. The blonde could see that Chloe was chilled to the bone and unmistakably feverish, but she knew that Chloe needed to talk before she would allow Aubrey to do anything to help her.

"I… I left the flat to look for you – I wasn't ready to let that argument go but I just walked too far and got lost. It was really dark and I got really tired but I walked all night – I wanted to find you or the flat or somewhere I knew. I should have taken my phone or some money or something… but I didn't think I would get lost in the city I live in… When the next morning came I still had no idea where I was, but it was light and stuff so that was better. I just asked a few people where I was and how to get back to our street and after walking around all day… yeah, I managed to find the flat. I'm so stupid… this is all so stupid…" Chloe buried her head in her hands and let waves of pain and despair roll over her body, the comforting touch of Aubrey the only thing keeping her grounded.

"It's not stupid Chloe, it's not." Aubrey repeated over and over until Chloe gradually began to calm. Despite what the pair's argument had been about, Chloe allowed Aubrey to address the situation regarding Chloe's fever; the blonde fed Chloe some soup, accompanied by a glass of water and some fever tablets, along with all the medication she had to take for her leukaemia. Then Aubrey waited outside the bathroom as Chloe had a long, hot shower to try and warm her chilled body. Unfortunately, Chloe was still shivering after the shower and so Aubrey lead the redhead to bed and lay a couple of blankets around her after. Aubrey then lay cold flannel across Chloe's forehead in the hope of bringing her fever down. It wasn't long until Chloe fell asleep, her body still tense and cold.

Aubrey sat on the bed beside Chloe and smiled sadly at how she slept, like she usually did, with her eyebrows upturned slightly, as though she were confused. Still looking affectionately at her friend, Aubrey pulled out her phone and called Beca to tell her the news. Aubrey knew Beca would answer, even though it was very late, because Beca had been by her phone all day just waiting for the slightest bit of news.

"Aubrey?" Beca answered quietly, her voice a heart-breaking mix of hope of worry.

"She's home." Aubrey whispered, a knot forming in her throat. She had tried not to cry in front of Chloe, not wanting to add to the miscellany of emotions the redhead had clearly been battling with, but she couldn't stop the tears of relief and pent-up emotion that slid silently down her face.

Aubrey could Beca's sigh of relief from her side of phone and there was a moment of silence before Beca said,

"Is she okay? Can I speak to her?"

"She's asleep," Aubrey explained, "she has a fever and she's obviously quite weak – she's been walking around the city for twenty-four hours – but I think she'll be alright. I'm monitoring her fever and stuff but I don't think it's anything worse than that."

"I wish I was there. I've only got a day left at the recording studio and then a day of travelling, but I just feel so separated from her… I can' stand to think of her wandering the streets all night." Beca said, her voice breaking slightly – it was clear she was crying. Beca's words sent a pang of guilt through Aubrey, she was still blaming herself for Chloe going missing, and she knew Beca wasn't blaming her, but Aubrey couldn't help but sense a bit of an accusative tone in Beca's voice. Beca and Aubrey spoke for a little while longer before Aubrey had to hang up and text everyone who was worried about Chloe that she was home and safe. She also had to alert the police, though she didn't bother to hide the annoyance in her voice as she told them that they had been no help and that she wouldn't trust them with anything.

Chloe slept for most of the next day and was only awake long enough to eat some more soup and to have her temperature checked. Beca called again in the evening, hoping to speak to Chloe only to hear that she was asleep. When Chloe awoke again the day after that, she wanted to speak to Beca, but Beca was already on the plane and she couldn't get through to her.

Aubrey had to leave Chloe at the flat when she went to go and pick Beca up from the airport because Chloe was still too weak to go out, so all Chloe could think about whilst Aubrey was out was Beca, and how much her heart yearned to see the small brunette.

When Beca and Aubrey finally arrived home, Beca had to take a minute before entering the flat to calm her racing heart. Chloe. She was finally going to see Chloe again after 3 weeks of being apart from her. Beca turned the handle to the flat door and opened it, peering inside and her dark eyes meeting with Chloe's crystal ones. Their eyes locked and there was a moment of complete stillness as the pair breathed in the sight of each other after their time apart. They burst out of their trance a moment later and both rushed forwards, meeting in the middle of the room and colliding. They kissed fiercely, holding onto each other as though their lives depended on it and only broke apart when they began to run out of breath.

"I love you." Chloe breathed, her breaths ragged with passion.

"I love you too." Beca whispered, thinking that there was not a sight more beautiful than the one that stood before her: Chloe Beale - rosy-cheeked and here, safe, alive.

' **A thousand years, I've got time, I've come a long way.**

 **A thousand years, I've lost time, I've come a long way.**

 **A thousand years, I am life, I've come a long way…'**


	14. Rubik's Cube

**A/N: Here's the next chapter, I hope you enjoy :)**

 **This chapter's song is 'Rubik's Cube' by Athlete.**

Beca and Chloe had a week of blissful peace before their lives both suddenly seemed to fall apart.

For that one week, Beca was allowed to work shorter hours at work because of her recent trip to New York, and so she was able to spend every afternoon and evening of that week with Chloe. The pair would go on walks together, try cooking new things (though everything seemed to end up and odd slop of food on a plate) and every night they would watch a different film. Beca started coming round to the idea of movies because she realised that they were actually quite good when she bothered to watch them all the way through. To Beca, that week in the middle of spring couldn't have been more peaceful. Chloe had a different view.

There was no denying that Chloe loved being able to spend so much time with Beca – it was great to have some alone time with her in the afternoons until Amy got home, and having Beca home meant she wasn't left alone for most of the day like she usually was when Beca had to work full time. Chloe loved being in Beca's company, but since Beca rarely let Chloe out of her sights when she was home, it made it very difficult for Chloe to hide her pain. Over the course of that week, the pain and fatigue in Chloe's body only got worse and worse – if that was even possible. She really tried her best to conceal her suffering from Beca, not wanting to burden the brunette with her troubles, but it became increasingly harder as time went on. Chloe and Beca would be lying on the sofa together watching a film, but Chloe wouldn't be able to hear it over the ringing in her ears, and the pounding of her head. She and Beca would be baking, but Chloe wouldn't be able to stand up for more than a couple of minutes without being overcome by waves of dizziness and nausea.

But still, Chloe enjoyed and cherished her time with Beca, not taking a single second of it for granted. Beca took great care of Chloe without making the redhead feel like an invalid, and made the most of the time she was freely able to take off work, knowing her boss would tighten up her hours again the next week. At the weekend, the pains shooting through Chloe's body subsided long enough for her to enjoy a meet up with the other Bellas in the nice park near the flat. The other Bellas were shocked at how different Chloe looked – she was so much paler, thinner, weaker than the last time saw her – but they didn't say anything, knowing that it would only make Chloe and Beca feel worse.

It surprised the Bellas just how close Chloe and Beca had grown – sure, the group had been rooting for the two of them to get together since forever, and so they had been thrilled when the pair had announced that they were officially together at the start of their meet up – but Chloe and Beca had grown close in a way that you only could when you had been through something incredibly hard together. They seemed to communicate without speaking to each other, and they predicted each other's movements, anticipating what the other was about to do and accommodating for it with their own answering movements. Of course, Chloe was oblivious to how happy the Bellas where to see the pair together even as the Bellas kept saying how cute her and Beca were over and over, but Beca couldn't ignore it. She was grateful that the Bellas accepted her and Chloe as a couple but she couldn't help but feel awkward as the other Bellas commented on her relationship and sexuality. She loved the Bellas but they could be a tad overbearing especially when it came to personal matters.

Unfortunately, that blissful week came to a shuddering, sudden end when Chloe developed a fever. One night, she had a high temperature, the next she was back in hospital, relying on machines to keep her alive.

The doctors had said right at the beginning of Chloe's treatment that because of her illness, she could get ill very easily and quickly, but Beca had not expected anything like this. Chloe had become so ill over night that the doctors wouldn't even let Beca into Chloe's room, because the redhead needed to be completely isolated so she didn't get any more ill.

Beca didn't know what to do with herself. She exactly how she did last time Chloe had been in the ICU; confused, worried, lonely and at a complete loss as to what to do with herself. None of the doctors would really tell her what was going on – they all just made it very clear that Chloe was dangerously ill and that she would need to stay in isolation until she was stable.

Beca's work started breathing down her neck again as she refused to leave the hospital to go to work, because she didn't want anything to happen whilst she was away. Her boss called her every morning for 3 days asking her to come in and each time Beca just had to refuse, saying she really couldn't leave Chloe. Each phone call was worse and worse, with her boss becoming more and more annoying and coming closer and closer to letting her go, even after the success of the New York trip.

Basically, in the space of a few days, Beca felt she lost complete control over her life. She couldn't talk to Chloe, or even enter the same room as her, Aubrey was back at work and only free to talk in the evenings and Chloe's family were all too busy or stressed to come down to see her – which Beca thought was unbelievable but chose not to challenge it.

Beca would spend all day sat on the chairs outside Chloe's room, wishing with all her heart that she could be sat beside the redhead, breathing in her faint smell of fresh daisies and holding her soft, gentle hand.

Finally, after a week of being in isolation, Chloe was taken out of the room and taken to a ward on the ICU where Beca was able to sit by her. Chloe still didn't wake up because of all the medication entering her body through intravenous, but it comforted Beca to be able to feel Chloe's warm skin and know that she was still here, she was still living.

The doctors took Chloe's admittance to hospital as an opportunity to run some tests and see how Chloe's treatment was going and whether her cancer was getting any better. Beca went with Chloe for all the tests, though most of the time wasn't allowed in any of the rooms, and Chloe was unconscious anyway so Beca's presence didn't make much of a difference, but it comforted Beca to be able to feel the redhead under her fingers. Beca simply didn't want to let Chloe go.

It was growing dark one evening, Beca had just got off the phone to her boss who had again threatened to fire her if she didn't start coming to work again, when Chloe finally stirred. Beca tried to push all thoughts of her boss and job out of her head as Chloe furrowed her eyebrows and took a few deep, ragged breaths, slowly opening her dazed, crystal eyes. Beca smiled at Chloe, but didn't remove the oxygen mask from around Chloe's face, not wanting to compromise Chloe's condition.

"I love you." Beca just said quietly, picking up Chloe's hand and pressing it gently to her lips. Chloe smiled weakly at Beca, her eyes full of love and hope as she drifted back into a peaceful sleep.

Beca went into the work the next day, much to the joy of her boss and began to start feeling much more in control of her life before she arrived back at the hospital to find Chloe awake and sitting up right in her bed. Before her stood a grave looking doctor with a clipboard in his hand and beside him stood a kindly nurse who had also looked after Chloe the last time she had been in the ICU.

The doctor waited for Beca to sit down in her usual seat beside Chloe before he started talking.

"As you two know, we took this opportunity of you, Chloe, being in hospital to run some tests and assess you condition. Well, we just got the test results back, and we need to discuss them with you."

Butterflies burst out in a frenzy in Beca's stomach as she watched the doctor's lips, waiting with great anticipation for his next words.

"Your cancer, Chloe… has developed faster than we anticipated. We knew that your kind of cancer was a cancer that could develop very quickly, but we thought that the chemotherapy may slow down this development and even rid your body of the cancer. Unfortunately, the chemotherapy hasn't worked for you. Your cancer is at stage 4. Chloe, I'm so sorry to tell you this, but you are terminal."

The doctor's last word clanged through Beca's head, playing over and over, the echo of it making Beca feel sick to her stomach. Terminal. Chloe was terminal.

Chloe: the kindest, happiest, sweetest person Beca knew was terminal. Chloe was going to die, and there was nothing anyone could do to prevent it.

' **The world is too heavy,**

 **Too big for my shoulders;**

 **Come take the weight off me now.**

 **1000s of answers,**

 **To one simple question;**

 **Come take the weight off me now…'**


	15. Not Today

**A/N: Hey, here's the next chapter. Please fav, follow, and let me know what you think of the story so far :)**

 **This chapter's song is 'Not Today' by Imagine Dragons.**

Beca threw up in the toilet a third time. She hunched over the toilet, tears spilling out her eyes as she gagged again. Terminal. That word just kept spinning round her head, making her feel sick and dizzy. She knew she should be with Chloe right now, supporting her and Aubrey, but she didn't think she could look at Chloe's face without her heart-breaking in two.

Beca had let herself fall in love with Chloe, she had let Chloe break down all her walls and turn her into the person she was today, and it was all ending in a couple of weeks. Chloe Beale only had a few weeks left to live.

Beca retched again, but nothing came out. She was too tired and dizzy to move, so she stayed where she was, crouched on the hospital bathroom floor. The last thing Beca wanted was for Chloe to see her like this – tears staining her face, vomit on her chin and her hair stuck to her forehead with sweat – Beca looked worse than she had in weeks and it was all because of one word: terminal.

Chloe lay in bed, utterly alone with her thoughts. Aubrey had left an hour ago to go and call the redhead's family, and Chloe hadn't seen Beca since she'd run off after the doctor had announced the development in Chloe's cancer.

Chloe had absolutely no idea how she was supposed to feel. In one sense, she was relieved that this painful, sickening struggle would all be over in a couple of weeks; but on the other hand, Chloe was utterly distraught. She had so much more to give, and to think that her time on the planet would be over in just over a month left her feeling entirely empty and alone. Beca wasn't with her to comfort her or make her laugh and Aubrey was doing important stuff on the phone… Chloe felt useless, helpless and lifeless as she lay in bed and let the pain in her body wash away all the thoughts swirling round her head.

Aubrey thought the hardest thing she would do in her life would be to overcome her controlling tendencies but no, the hardest thing Aubrey ever had to do in her life was tell Chloe's parents that their daughter was going to die in a matter of weeks. Their beautiful, talented, happy daughter's life was coming to an end. Chloe's parents cried and cried, saying over and over how they should have come down earlier to support her, how they were awful parents. Aubrey tried to assure them otherwise, but they wouldn't be reasoned with. Eventually, Chloe's parents hung up, booking the very next plane down to Atlanta.

Aubrey looked at her phone, thinking of the endless list of people she would have to call about Chloe's condition. She let her hands fall loosely at her side, feeling light-headed and sick at the prospect of Chloe just… not being there in a couple of weeks. Aubrey had found that Chloe was terminal after Chloe and Beca. The blonde had seen Beca storm out the room, her face completely leeched of colour and her hands shaking as she went. Aubrey had tried to speak to Beca as she had rushed past, but the brunette didn't stop so Aubrey entered cautiously into Chloe's room. There had been a doctor in the room, offering Chloe a sympathetic look as the redhead looked straight ahead, her face as pale as Beca's. Aubrey had asked what was going on, and the doctor had carefully revealed that Chloe was terminal. That this cancer was going to kill her.

Aubrey felt empty. Tears fell silently from her cheeks, but the blonde didn't know why, she didn't feel particularly sad – just empty. The complete sorrow and despair in Chloe's parents' voices still rang through her, sending shivers down her spine. There was no word that could describe how Aubrey felt right now. She had never had to face anything like this in her life before – her grandparents had died before she was born and since then, no-one close to her had passed away. And now she was faced with the prospect of one of her closest friends dying having not had the chance to live her life to the full.

Chloe was discharged from the hospital a couple of days after she was informed of the development in her cancer. The hospital wanted her to check in every 3 days so they could assess her condition and get a better grasp on how long she had left, but other than that she was free to do almost anything she wanted. She no longer had to have chemo sessions, or take masses of tablets, because nothing could be done to get rid of her cancer. The absence of her chemo meant that Chloe felt stronger and better – which seemed ironic since she was actually worse than she had ever been. Aubrey stayed with Chloe and Beca for a couple of days before going back to work to sort out some issues before she could take official leave for a number of months, wanting to spend as much time with Chloe as possible before… before time ran out.

Beca tried to keep treating Chloe like she had before she had been told she was terminal, but it was hard. Beca had to stop sleeping in the same room as Chloe because she would find herself awake all night, listening to Chloe's breathing, terrified it would suddenly stop and leave Beca in a deafening silence. Chloe noticed the change in Beca behaviour – she noticed all the forced smiles and hidden frowns. Chloe lay alone at night, unable to sleep without the warmth and comfort of Beca's body beside her. Chloe wanted to spend her limited days cherishing the time she had left with Beca, but Beca barely spoke to the redhead. Beca was subdued, sombre and reserved around Chloe, she barely spoke to her and seemed to flinch away from all contact and affection.

Beca knew she was being selfish. She knew that it was narrow-minded of her to treat Chloe as if they were barely friends, but Beca couldn't bear to get any closer to the redhead for it all to be ripped away from her. All Beca could think about was how she had let herself fall in love with Chloe, she had let herself care for and cherish and love the sick redhead only to have it all torn from her grasp.

Beca wanted to be with the redhead; she wanted to sleep next to her at night, she wanted to sit and play with her at the piano, she wanted to walk round the park with her but she couldn't. It was too hard.

Beca hated herself for being so selfish. But she loved Chloe too much to see her every day and simply ignore the fact that she was going to die.

A week passed since Chloe's devastating news from the hospital, and Beca and Chloe had barely spoken. Chloe's mom, dad and brother were staying at a hotel in the city – they met up with Chloe every day, making sure her days were filled with smiles and company given how there was a time limit on everything she could do. Aubrey was coming down to stay with Beca and Chloe in a few days, Amy was spending more time with the redhead and the Bellas had all organised to meet up again on hearing Chloe's news, but Chloe was miserable. The hospital had confirmed that she probably had just over a month and a half left given how quickly her leukaemia was developing, and all Chloe wanted was to be held and comforted by Beca, but the brunette was more closed off than Chloe had ever seen her. She was barely at the flat during the day – she worked late into the nights and left early in the mornings. Beca actually looked worse than Chloe: she looked constantly sleep deprived and pale whereas Chloe's hair was growing thicker again due to her lack of chemotherapy and there was more colour in her cheeks. Chloe still ached, she was still covered in bruises and she was still weak but she looked more human, despite what the hospital had revealed about her cancer.

One night, Amy was out, Chloe's family were back at their hotel, Aubrey was still at work and so it was just Beca and Chloe left in the apartment, which was a rare occurrence because of how much Beca avoided Chloe. Chloe muttered something about how they needed more milk, and so Beca leapt at the opportunity to get out the apartment, offering to grab some from the corner shop. Chloe posed that she go too, hoping for an opportunity to actually talk to the brunette but Beca just said that Chloe should stay inside because it was cold. Chloe rolled her eyes;

"For god sakes Beca, why won't you just let me come with you? Why have you been acting so weird lately?"

Beca gave Chloe an incredulous look.

"Why have I been acting so weird? Why have _you_ been acting so normal? You're dying Chloe, but you're acting as if nothing's changed!"

Chloe didn't say anything for a moment, happy that Beca was finally talking to her but taken aback by the brunette's words.

"Because nothing has changed, Beca. I still love you… you still love me?" She asked, not sure if she actually knew the answer to her question.

"Of course I still love you, Chloe. But that's the problem," Beca explained, her voice breaking and tears spilling down her cheeks, "I… I can't lose you. I love you too much to lose you. I fell in love with you Chloe, you fell in love with me… and now I'm going to have to spend the rest of my life without you. You're acting so normal about the whole situation, as if it doesn't bother you but Chloe, I can't think straight because every time I see you all I can think about is how in a month… I won't be able to. You won't be there, Chloe and it will just be me and Amy in this flat, without you. I can't… I can't lose you." Beca uttered, her voice coming out in barely a whisper.

Chloe swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat and chocked back the tears that threatened to fall, taking in Beca's crumpled face. She walked forward slowly and wrapped her thin arms around Beca, her heart singing at the contact she had been denied for weeks. Beca reluctantly returned Chloe's embrace, breathing in Chloe's fresh, daisy smell. Beca sobbed in Chloe's arms, realising how much she'd missed the redhead's familiar scent. Beca had been so distant, so reserved for the past week that she hadn't realised how much she'd missed holding Chloe, how much she'd missed smelling her hair, how much she'd missed looking into her crystal eyes.

"I just want to be with you Beca, I just want to spend my time with you."

Beca sighed, holding Chloe tighter to her, as if afraid Chloe would slip away if she let go.

"Okay." Beca breathed, sniffing and letting Chloe wipe the tears from her eyes. "Are we going to the shops then, or what?" She smiled, looping her arm through Chloe's. The couple walked slowly out the door, basking in the pleasure of each other's company while they still could.

' **We finally fall apart and we break each other's hearts,**

 **If we wanna live young, love, we better start today;**

 **It's gotta get easier, oh easier somehow,**

 **'Cause I'm falling, I'm falling;**

 **It's gotta get easier, oh easier somehow,**

 **But not today,**

 **Not today…'**


	16. Hurts Like Hell

**A/N: Here's the final chapter.**

 **This chapter's song is 'Hurt Like Hell' by Fleurie.**

Beca and Chloe didn't waste a second of the limited time they had together. Beca took official leave from work – which her boss allowed when her head that the brunette's girlfriend was terminal – and so the couple would do something different every day.

On one day, the pair went to the cinema, despite how much Beca moaned, and enjoyed watching a light-hearted rom com, holding hands throughout the entire film. On another day, they went for a picnic in a nearby park; Chloe made the sandwiches and Beca attempted to make some cakes, although they tasted more like cucumber… for some reason…

On other days, the pair went bowling or mini-golfing or swimming. The couple enjoyed themselves so much that on occasion, Chloe even forgot she had cancer. Her hair was growing thick and curly from her head again and she wasn't racked with pains. Beca loved seeing her girlfriend so happy – their lives had been tainted by Chloe's illness for so long, and although Beca knew it all had to come to an end soon, she could see that having a definite outcome to the whole ordeal was strangely a weight off Chloe's shoulders.

Beca knew that only Chloe, being the happy, optimistic person she was, would be able to live her last few weeks with her usual light-hearted character. Beca fell more and more in love with Chloe every day as the redhead woke up every morning, still smiling and laughing. Beca wanted to stop herself falling for Chloe, she didn't want to grow a fraction closer to the intoxicating redhead, but she couldn't help herself. The pair were soul-mates. The time they spent together was so easy and uplifting despite the circumstances; and everyone around them was captivated by the love they so clearly had for each other, but it just made everything even more heart-breaking.

Aubrey was so happy for the couple. She was thrilled that they were able to spend this time together, but it hurt so much to think that it couldn't be able to be like this forever.

One night, Aubrey, Chloe and Beca had the flat to themselves. Chloe was fast asleep, her head in Beca's lap and her feet dangling off the end of the sofa. Beca played absent-mindedly with Chloe's curly hair and Aubrey looked on, a sad smile on her face. 'Finding Nemo' was playing quietly on the TV – it was Chloe's favourite film. Beca and Chloe had watched it so much recently that Beca didn't even realise that she was silently mouthing every word to the film as it played.

"I thought you hated films." Aubrey laughed, pointing out how Beca could basically write the script out for all of Chloe's favourite films.

"I do." Beca smiled, quietly cursing herself for being so cringy and 'falling for Chloe's tricks'.

There was a moment of comfortable silence as Beca and Aubrey continued watching the familiar film until the blonde quietly asked,

"What do you think it will be like, you know, without her?"

Beca took a deep sigh, her hands falling still in her lap as she looked wistfully at the sleeping redhead.

"I don't know. I really don't know. There are some days, when she has bruises all over her body and she doesn't even have the strength to stand, that I'm happy, for her, that she won't have to fight it for much longer. But the rest of the time, I can't concentrate. She seems so calm about the whole situation, acting as if nothing's wrong… but I can't concentrate. I just keep thinking how I'll never be able to watch this film without thinking about her, how I'll never be able to hear titanium without thinking about her… How I'll never be able to love anyone without thinking about her… I love Chloe more than I've ever loved anyone, but she's going to die, and I'm not ready to let her go yet." Beca whispered, never taking her eyes off Chloe's beautiful, peaceful face.

Aubrey looked sadly at Beca, noticing how her midnight eyes were glassy with tears.

"I'm not ready to let her go, either." Aubrey breathed, her stomach twisting with sorrow.

That next day, everything started falling apart again. It all started when Chloe wouldn't wake up in the morning. Beca noticed how it was 11:30, and the redhead hadn't got up yet, so Beca went into their bedroom to rouse her. Beca found Chloe still asleep, the duvet twisted around her feet, and her face pale as a sheet. Chloe had a fever, and her breaths rattled from her chest. Beca began to panic when she tried to shake Chloe awake, to no avail. Beca called Chloe's name, she splashed a bit of water in her face, but nothing worked, Chloe remained unconscious. Aubrey came in when she heard Beca panicking and decided to call an ambulance, dread and worry rising in her stomach. Beca pleaded with Aubrey not to call it, knowing that if Chloe went to the hospital now, she may never come out again. Aubrey ignored Beca's broken pleas, struggling to concentrate as Beca broke down, gripping Chloe's limp hand and begging the unconscious redhead to wake up.

Aubrey led the devastated Beca out the room when the paramedics arrived, grabbing a bag of stuff for the hospital before following behind the ambulance with Beca riding shotgun. At the hospital, Chloe was taken away on a gurney as Beca and Aubrey were told to sit in the waiting room.

Beca and Aubrey sat in silence for hours. Beca eventually stopped crying, though her hands continued to shake and tear streaks stained her cheeks. The sombre pair got lots of looks from other occupants of the waiting room who were clearly curious as to why these two young ladies looked so sad. Eventually, the pair were approached by Chloe's oncologist, who led them silently up to Chloe's room in the ICU.

Chloe was asleep, with IVs connected to her arms and a nasal cannula looped around her ears and nose, helping her breath. The room was dimly lit, a small potted plant sitting on the windowsill and a small blue chair beside Chloe's bed the only other features occupying the space. Chloe lay unconscious, a heart monitor displaying her slow, resting heartbeat. The doctor explained how, due to the fact that Chloe's cancer greatly weakened her immune system, Chloe had developed another chest infection. The infection had manifested overnight, and spread from her chest to her lungs and her heart. Chloe's cancer had apparently developed greatly as well, consuming numerous part of her body. The doctor explained how the infection greater compromised the redhead's health, and how the infection, along with the sudden spreading of her cancer meant that Chloe probably wasn't going to make it through the night.

Beca completely broke down upon these words. She felt as though the room was closing in on her and the air was being sucked from her lungs. She couldn't bear to stay one more second in that quiet, sorrow-soaked room. Beca didn't know where she was going to go, she just knew she had to get out. She stormed out the room, out the ward, out the hospital and found herself walking aimlessly through the streets surrounding the city hospital.

Aubrey remained in the room with Chloe's oncologist, taking a moment to gather her thoughts. She looked at the sleeping redhead on the bed before her; Chloe's head was tilted to the side slightly, her thin arms lay on top of the soft sheets wrapped round her body, displaying the bruising covering her skin. Chloe's face was pale, and her fever was still evident; her breaths rattled from the chest, but she still looked pretty and peaceful with the golden strip of sunlight coming from the window illuminating her face.

Aubrey took a deep breath before calling Chloe's family and asking them to come down to the city hospital to say goodbye to Chloe. The family arrived an hour later, worry and panic contorting their faces. Aubrey had to explain how Chloe had developed another chest infection, how her cancer was spreading rapidly through her body, how she wasn't going to make the night. Sammy looked shaken and tearful as he tried to console his distraught parents. They entered Chloe's room slowly, horrified to see their daughter in such a dire, sickened state.

Sam stayed behind with Aubrey, leaving his parents alone with his sick sister.

"I can't believe this is happening." He breathed, his voice hoarse with anguish. Aubrey didn't reply – her throat had closed up and there was nothing she could say that could offer any comfort or satisfaction. Instead, she and Sam pulled each other into a hug and they let themselves cry, using each other as an anchor and a comfort.

Sam asked Aubrey to come into Chloe's hospital room with him but the blonde had to decline, knowing that she needed to find Beca. Sam nodded his understanding and went to join his parents, who were sat at Chloe's bedside, holding her limp hand as tears poured down their faces. Sam had never seen his sister so vulnerable before. Chloe had always been the one who looked after him, who gave him advice on girls and told him that everything was going to be okay. He could hardly bear to look at her.

"Oh god…" Sam chocked, feeling weak at the knees and light-headed. His sister really was going to die, she was just past 20, and she was going to die.

Chloe stirred at the sound of her brother's familiar, deep voice. Her crystal eyes, the exact replica of Sammy's, fluttered open and she smiled weakly. She didn't have the strength to say anything but having her family with her offered a great comfort to her; and seeing their daughter awake helped quell Chloe's parents' raging emotions.

Beca walked through the city for hours. She had no idea where she was going, no idea what she was doing, but she just wanted to get all thoughts of Chloe out her head. The brunette thought that maybe, if she didn't address it, then this problem would go away. Maybe, if Beca didn't even think about the girl she loved, then she wouldn't have to accept the fact that she was going to die that very night.

Beca wasn't aware of the tears slipping down her cheeks or the sobs escaping her until she felt a hand on her shoulder. She span around, peering through the growing darkness and finding Aubrey standing before her. The blonde wiped the tears from Beca's face and pulled her into a tight hug.

"Oh Beca, where have you been? I've been so worried." Aubrey said, holding Beca at arm's length and looking her in the eyes. Beca struggled to meet the blonde's gaze, but eventually chocked out,

"She can't die. She can't. Not tonight, not ever."

The darkness continued to grow as Aubrey held Beca's trembling form to her and asked the brunette to come back to the hospital with her.

"She really doesn't have long left, you don't want to miss the chance to say goodbye." Tears poured down Aubrey's cheeks as she said this, a familiar sensation after everything that had happened these past few days, weeks, months.

Beca took some deep breaths, trying to get a grip on herself as people walked passed her and Aubrey on the street, giving them odd looks.

"Let's go." Beca finally said, letting Aubrey lead her a few blocks down to her car. The pair got in and sat in silence as Aubrey sped through the streets, praying that they would get to the hospital before it was too late. Before Aubrey had left the hospital to find Beca, the doctor had informed her that Chloe really only had hours left given how weak her lungs and heart had become, and that everyone should be ready to say their goodbyes.

When the pair finally arrived back at the hospital, they raced up stairs and through corridors, finally reaching Chloe's room in the ICU.

Aubrey burst into Chloe's hospital room ahead of Beca with a terrible question etched on her face. But there was a nurse inside who answered immediately,

"It's okay," she said, "You're in time."

Aubrey and Beca joined Chloe's family around the sick redhead's bedside. Sammy and his parents took a step back, allowing Beca to sit right beside Chloe. Chloe's eyes fluttered open as she felt Beca sit down,

"Beca?" came Chloe, her voice thick and low and almost impossible to hear.

"I'm here." Beca chocked, her words nearly lost as a great sob racked through her body. This was really happening. Chloe was really dying. No one said anything as silence consumed the room, but weakly Chloe reached out her hand.

Asking Beca to take it. Take it and not let go.

The heart monitor beside Chloe started emit slow, sombre beeps that filled the crushing silence of the room.

Beca wanted to ask a doctor, ask a nurse, ask anyone what was going to happen, but she didn't dare, because she already knew. She already knew what was going to happen. All Beca's nightmares where coming true; every terror that haunted her at night and horror that distracted her during the day were laid out in front of her, and there was no ignoring them, no pretending they weren't real. Because this were real, and there was nothing Beca could do to stop her nightmares from reaching their inevitable, dreaded conclusion

Chloe's eyes drifted closed, and here breathing continued raking out her throat – each breath seemingly more laboured and pained than the previous one. Beca shook her head, tears dripping off the end of her nose. This couldn't be happening.

Ignoring everyone else in the room, Beca looked right at Chloe and squeezed the redhead's hand, deciding it was time she accepted the terrifying, bitter truth: Chloe was going to die. Right here, Chloe was going to die before Beca's eyes.

"I don't want you to go…" Beca mumbled, her words shaking as they fell from her mouth.

"I don't want to go either," Chloe said in her heavy, weak voice. She opened her eyes again, and Beca looked hard into them, taking in all the details and features of Chloe's beautiful face, not wanting to ever forget them. Chloe's crystal blue eyes shone with tears and her pink lips were parted slightly. The nasal cannula tickled her nose and hurt her ears, but she ignored all her pains and looked right back at Beca, soaking in the comfort and familiarity of her face.

"I love you." Chloe breathed as she fell unconscious again, all the strength sapped from her.

"I love you too." Beca whispered, her throat constricting and her heart twisting with pain.

There was a moment of silence before Chloe's heart monitor emitted one long, monotonous beep. A small group of doctors slowly came into the room and announced Chloe's time of death, slowly unhooking her from all the machines that had failed to keep her alive.

Chloe was gone. She had slipped from Beca's grasp, her laugh never again to be heard, her voice never again to be treasured, her eyes never again to open.

Chloe Beale was gone. She had died right before Beca, her hand going limp and cold in Beca's grip, no matter how hard she held on.

' **How can I say this without breaking,**

 **How can I say this without taking over,**

 **How can I put it down into words,**

 **When it's almost too much for my soul alone.**

 **I loved and I loved and I lost you.**

 **I loved and I loved and I lost you…'**


	17. Turn Again To Life

**A/N: Hey, so I kind of already finished this story but I wrote this a few nights ago and wanted to post in. It's kind of based off the song 'It's Ok' by Tom Rosenthal. It's short but I wanted to post it anyway.**

Beca stumbled into the flat early in the morning, her mind reeling.

She unlocked the familiar door with her familiar key, stood in the familiar corridor, but she stepped inside the flat, and everything felt foreign.

The air was static with the absence of Chloe. Everything was cold and stiff and Beca shivered where she stood. Her eyes were raw from crying and her face was wan with grief – it had only been a couple of hours since Chloe's death – and Beca felt numb.

She barely noticed Chloe's various useless medications left strewn across the kitchen cabinets or the Finding Nemo DVD left on the floor by the sofa; Beca didn't think to switch any lights on or tidy up the unnervingly vacant flat. Instead, she walked straight in her and Chloe's bedroom. Inside, Beca made her way slowly around to Chloe's side of the mattress and gently set herself down, her legs shaking underneath her. Weary and wounded with grief, Beca found herself lying down and surrounding herself with the familiar comfort of Chloe's scent; daises and sleep and safety. Beca felt more tears fall silently from her eyes, and before she knew it, Beca was crying again, yearning to feel the amenity of Chloe beside her, chest rising and falling with sleep and life.

But Beca was alone, alone in a room that once held so many happy thoughts, feelings and memories.

She eventually fell asleep, her eyes drifting close and her sobs turning to even breaths.

When Beca awoke, she noticed a slip of paper sticking out from underneath Chloe's pillow. With her mind till bleary from sleep, Beca fumbled for it and took it up in her shaking hands, using the morning light streaking in through the windows to read it.

The paper was covered in Chloe's familiar cursive. The note contained cute little notes and drawings that Chloe had obviously spilled onto the paper as she lay in bed doodling. In the centre of the paper was a small poem that Beca knew was for her after reading just the first line. Chloe had always been into her poetry – finding great joy in discovering small, beautiful poems that she would sometimes read to Beca when either of them had been feeling particularly stressed. It was a habit she had picked up when she had first found out about her cancer. The poem read:

'If I should die, and leave you here awhile,

Be not like others sore undone, who keep

Long vigils by the silent dust and weep.

For my sake, turn again to life, and smile,

Nerving thy heart and trembling hand to do

Something to comfort weaker hearts than thine.

Complete these dear unfinished tasks of mine,

And I, perchance, may therein comfort you.'

Beca read the poem over and over, hating and loving Chloe for giving Beca these final words, even if they were written by someone else. Beca let the words of the poem sinking in, her mind wandering over the other little notes and doodles dotting the page. The notes were also all intended for Beca, reminding her that Chloe loved her, and that she would always be there for Beca. The doodles were musical notes, hearts and stars – Chloe's favourite things to draw – and they made Beca's heart swell.

Beca read through the poem one more time, her eyes glancing over each curve of Chloe's Ys and the crosses of her Ts, taking in every bit of Chloe that she could from this small note.

Beca turned to look at the rising sun outside and realised that yes, Chloe would always be here. Because Chloe was the sun. She was bright and warm and lovely, and as long as Beca saw the rising sun every morning, Chloe would always be with her: in her heart and shining proudly in the sky.

 **'Oh my eyes are on your eyes again tonight**

 **I'm happy to be near you…**

 **Hold me close, I need you so I want you in my dreams.**

 **You'll see I've come a long way for you, my love…**

 **Can you hold me to my word; my nights are cold, my memories blurred.**

 **You have a lot of love to give out; you're gonna see the highs and the lows…**

 **Hey love we're gonna be fine one day,**

 **Oh, our lives will move with the breeze and that's how it will be…**

 **There's a lullaby, saving us a riot,**

 **Giving back the time, stilling my desire…**

 **Did you ever know that you were in the middle of my mind?**

 **I could never figure out why you were so hard to find.**

 **You were in the sand, dancing forever,**

 **I was there with you, somehow, somehow…**

 **Yes, I know that love is like ghosts,**

 **Oh, and the moonlight baby shows you what's real.**

 **There ain't a language for the things I feel…**

 **You got wires, going in; you got wires, coming out of your skin.**

 **You got tears, making tracks; I got tears, that are scared of the facts…**

 **Soon goodbye but now love.**

 **Draw the oceans, make a wave,**

 **I know nothing more than you…**

 **They say it's a matter of time,**

 **A thousand days and the sun won't shine,**

 **Before I come back to you…**

 **It's been a little while since I've held your hands, oh my arms won't stretch to your distant land.**

 **Give me every person in the whole wide world, and I'll pick you out in a second, girl.**

 **I am ready, I am ready, for you to be here…**

 **Do you know what we're fighting for? Well let's fight, let us fight.**

 **Do you know what we're asking for? 'Cause I don't sometimes,**

 **I just want to kick off at something, go to town and then make a scene.**

 **We don't know what we're fighting for, but we'll fight…**

 **A thousand years, I've got time, I've come a long way.**

 **A thousand years, I've lost time, I've come a long way.**

 **A thousand years, I am life, I've come a long way…**

 **The world is too heavy, too big for my shoulders;**

 **Come take the weight off me now.**

 **1000s of answers, to one simple question;**

 **Come take the weight off me now…**

 **We finally fall apart and we break each other's hearts,**

 **If we wanna live young, love, we better start today;**

 **It's gotta get easier, oh easier somehow,**

 **'Cause I'm falling, I'm falling;**

 **It's gotta get easier, oh easier somehow, but not today, not today…**

 **How can I say this without breaking,**

 **How can I say this without taking over,**

 **How can I put it down into words,**

 **When it's almost too much for my soul alone.**

 **I loved and I loved and I lost you.**

 **I loved and I loved and I lost you…**

 **If I should die, and leave you here awhile,**

 **Be not like others sore undone, who keep**

 **Long vigils by the silent dust and weep.**

 **For my sake, turn again to life, and smile,**

 **Nerving thy heart and trembling hand to do**

 **Something to comfort weaker hearts than thine.**

 **Complete these dear unfinished tasks of mine,**

 **And I, perchance, may therein comfort you…**

 **Speak to me, my heart is free, my love has gone away,**

 **Tell me true, my heart is blue, my love has gone away;**

 **It's okay,**

 **I know someday I'm gonna be with you…'**


End file.
